What Magic Can't Fix
by Kiro Talon
Summary: Quaxo and Victoria were always destined to be together. See why in this short story that tells the tale through Quaxo's magical eyes.
1. Strange New World

© INFO: All characters and the original idea of Cats belong to T. S. Eliot, Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber, and the Really Useful Group, excepting the character Cassie, who is © Triskell 2000, and may not be used without express permission. Permission to use Cassie or Triskell's idea can be obtained at Triskell(a)utanet.at. Permission to use MY idea can be obtained at I also want to thank Triskell profoundly for letting me use Cassie and for letting me work off of her original idea. Thanks a bunch! This work is dedicated to you!

NOTE: This story is based partly on Triskell's idea, and a lot on the video version of the musical. As a result, the best reading experience can be obtained by keeping the video in mind as you read.

**What Magic Can't Fix  
**

© Kiro, 2004

(Misto)

My name is Quaxo, but I am also known to the Jellicles as Mr. Mistoffelees, the Original Conjuring Cat.

Over the course of my life, I've learned that there are a few things that even magic can't fix.

A broken heart is one of those things.

My life started out with heartbreak. Heartbreak, destruction, and death. I eventually learned the supposed details of my origin: So far as anyone knew, my mother had been assaulted by Macavity, the Mystery Cat, and some time later, she had given birth to me. I can't remember ever having had any siblings, so I may very well have been the only one of my litter to survive.

The first thing I remember clearly was being roughly extracted from the embrace of the cold, stiff corpse of my murdered mother by a set of heartless jaws wrapped cruelly around my neck. I could only barely breathe, and the lack of oxygen made it completely impossible to see or feel. I quickly passed out, and when I came to, I awakened to find myself in a box with two other kittens who were cleaning one another's matted fur and minor wounds.

The kittens, who looked strikingly similar, paused in their bathing ritual long enough to notice my consciousness. They looked at one another for a moment, then nodded and slowly made their way over to me, sniffing cautiously.

The male spoke up. He could speak surprisingly well for his age, and already had an astonishingly thick accent. "'Oo're you?"

I did a double take. "What?"

The female spoke, now, more clearly. "Who…are…you?"

I shrugged. "I dunno." It was honest enough. I genuinely had no idea who I was. I had no name that I could remember, and no real identity. The male raised an eyebrow at this. I tried to guess how old they might be. They didn't seem much older than I was, but they had a surprisingly thorough grasp of such abstract ideas as identity and caution, something I had yet to develop. I gave up.

The male suddenly sat down, seemingly satisfied, and nodded to his companion, who also sat down and smiled at me. "That's a'roight, we'll give ye a name. I'm Rumpleteazer."

The male smiled, too. "An' I'm Mungojerrie. We'll call ye…"

"Quaxo." Rumpleteazer grinned.

Mungojerrie nodded and grinned back. "Roigh'. Quaxo."

And that was it. I was named. My name was Quaxo, and the only family I had was a pair of kittens named Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer.

We were left alone in the box for a day or so, and even though we were getting hungry, thirsty, and thusly weak, we continued to keep our spirits up with silly and pointless games, like seeing who could stay silent the longest. Rumple always lost, breaking out into fits of giggles, and I would crack soon after, laughing at her antics. Then, having won, Mungojerrie would allow himself to collapse into laughter with us, and we'd all three just sit in the bottom of the box, laughing and snickering.

And yet, even though we kept ourselves smiling, it was clear that unless something radical happened, we were destined to die there in the confines of the damp and moldy box. We weren't yet big enough to climb out over the sides, and our claws were not sharp enough to cut through the tough material of the walls of our unorthodox prison. Whoever had put us in that box had intentionally sentenced us to death, and young as we were, we understood what that meant.

But someone had been watching over the three pitiful kittens trapped inside their dank prison of cardboard, and by some act of grace or coincidence, we were provided a rescuer, if in a rather harrowing way.

The way our savior came was harrowing enough, to say nothing for the way she saved us. One day, while we were squeaking and squealing as we played a game that I can't remember now, a roving group of Pollicles heard our cries and came to investigate. We were petrified to see the gang of rabid canines poking their noses into our corrugated penitentiary. Rumpleteazer disappeared behind her brother, and I backed up against the nearest wall, whimpering softly in terror.

Mungojerrie, however, the bravest of us by far, cleared his throat and actually tried to talk with the beasts. "Hi…did we bother ye? Sorry, we didn' mean ter. We'll be more-"

The Pollicles didn't wait for him to finish. With a roar of insane fury, the leader slashed the corners of the box open, and the walls of our prison fell away.

He left us no time to celebrate our newfound freedom, though. We were immediately surrounded by the dogs, all of which were growling and licking their foaming chops. It was curtains for us, no questions asked.

And yet, even faced with certain death, for some reason, we didn't surrender. We'd come this far together, and we would do whatever we could to keep going. With strength and courage born of desperation, we bunched together and faced the demons.

However, before the brutes could attack, a flash of gray and white suddenly appeared, slashing and biting with claws and teeth like lightning, and all the Pollicles immediately backed away, stunned by this new adversary.

When the whirlwind finally settled, it set up defenses above us in a very protective stance. It turned out to be an adult female cat: her hair stood up all along her spine, and her ears were laid back. Her mouth was opened in a vicious hissing snarl, and her tail was a bottlebrush. Her claws were out, and she clenched them into the ground with a furious rage.

In a matter of a few seconds, she had adopted the three pitiful and forsaken kittens lying exposed in an alleyway, facing certain death at the jowls of wild Pollicles, and was already prepared to lay down her life for them.

I noticed something then. I caught sight of one of her eyes – those incredible, holy eyes – and I saw a mixture of many different emotions. I have full confidence that that was when my magical powers were ignited. To me, I was looking at the Eternal Cat herself. There was something unexplainable in those swirling ethereal pools of emotion, something intangible and mysterious. Something I suspect that only I could have seen.

I saw the hatred she harbored against Pollicles, and the rage she was prepared to fight them with, a rage that she must have accumulated and pent up for her entire life up until that point, until it had reached such a level at which it was not to be controlled, and it frightened me to no end. She was mad – no, insane, insane with a rage that would not allow her to simply rescue us and then escape. She had a score to settle with them, and she had no intention of leaving until she did.

But then I saw something else in those eyes. I saw love. Irrational, incredible, invincible love. I saw in an instant that no matter what it cost her, she was going to protect these three tiny kittens. She was prepared to die for us, and she knew that was probably what it was going to take.

I also saw the desperation. Desperation she refused to show, but definitely felt. She knew she had no chance against even a pair of Pollicles, let alone a whole group of them. But even faced with such overwhelmingly unfair odds, she didn't waver. She stood, still and strong, prepared to lose everything in a maternal fervor. I was amazed.

The Pollicles quickly recovered from their initial shock and instantly set upon this intrusive feline with a vengeance. She fought valiantly, but it was more than obvious that unless something miraculous happened, she would quickly fall vanquished and we would be left alone at the mercy of the pitiless Pollicles. I held my breath.

Again, a savior appeared in the nick of time, only this time, it was a male, and not much bigger than any of the three of us. He was black and white striped, and even though his contributions to the female's efforts were all but futile, his courage was inspiring.

But the battle was still hopelessly slanted against the feline team, and I cowered as the female took one crushing and ripping blow after another, her blood painting the ground beneath her red. She could not possibly last much longer.

She too sensed her own imminent defeat, and cried out in desperation to the little male, "Get the kittens! I'll take care of those bastards, get the little ones out!" I knew she meant my companions and me, and the older kitten nodded and swiftly picked Mungo and Rumple up. He then turned to me, and his eyes flashed with sudden panic as he realized he couldn't get all three of us in one trip, and even I could tell that the female would not last long enough for another. I shivered in terror. Now what would happen?

Suddenly, as if out of nowhere, a gentle set of teeth clamped onto the fur of the nape of my neck and lifted me off the asphalt. Within seconds, I was suddenly flying, racing mere inches over the street. I tried to decide if I'd been killed, and this was some strange ritual of death, but I concluded against the possibility, since I could still feel the cool night air rushing through my fur, and the hot breath of whoever was carrying me on the back of my neck.

After a short time, we came to a big junkyard, and my redeemer set me on the ground. Without stopping to let me thank him, he suddenly called out in a shrill voice. "Cassie's fighting the Pollicles!" Within a few seconds, a small troupe of cats had collected, and my savior led them back in the direction we'd come from.

The other cat had dropped Mungo and Rumple, and was now teetering slightly on his feet, and I could see a few open wounds bleeding into his fur. Even so, he staggered around and started to follow the rest of the relief party, but suddenly, another female came up behind him and gently caught his shoulder. "Munkustrap, you're wounded. Stay here."

Munkustrap turned around with tears in his eyes and answered angrily. "I'm not leaving her out there!"

The female didn't let him go. "Munku, she's got all the help she needs. You've done all you can. Stay here. You can't do her any more good now. You've got to tell me what happened, and who these kittens are." She looked down at us with a smile.

Munkustrap sighed shallowly and nodded. He surrendered to her gentle licks as he recounted the story from his own point of view.

"Cassie, Tugger, and me were all out walking, and all of a sudden we heard barks coming from one of the alleys. We would've just sneaked away and forgotten about them, but we also heard a meowing sound, and Cassie told us to stay put and went to see what it was. Then I heard her hissing and the Pollicles barking, and I ran into the alley and tried to help, but she told me and Tugger to get the kittens and run…so we did." He sighed again, looking forlornly over at us. "I don't know who they are, where they're from, or anything. She just said to save them."

The female nodded. "That sounds just like Cassie. Hold still." She had almost finished cleaning the worst of his wounds. "Don't you worry, though. Your mum can take care of herself. If I know Cassie, by the time Tugger and the others get to her, she'll have beaten every one of those Pollicles senseless, and will laugh at them all for worrying." They were brave words, and even I could easily see that even she didn't believe them.

Munkustrap certainly didn't. He just sat, silent and solemn, no doubt contemplating the worst. My heart ached for him; I sensed rather than understood the pain he must have felt.

Suddenly, I was exhausted. The recent clash and the ensuing fear and panic had drained me, and I immediately found myself nearly incapable of keeping my eyes open. Mungo and Rumple had already fallen asleep cuddled up with one another, and I decided to join them for a quick nap. The fear and uncertainties faded away as I fell into unconsciousness, and the female's soothing voice and my companions' body heat soon lulled me into a deep, contented, dreamless sleep.

* * *

When I awoke, the cat who was apparently called Tugger had returned, and Munkustrap was nowhere to be found. Mungo and Rumple were already awake and tormenting Tugger with silly tricks and foolish little pranks, falling over themselves in laughter. Tugger laughed heartlessly at their little jokes, and seemed immensely relieved when I joined the group, and the two little troublemakers decided that I would be a better playmate. Tugger joined in now and again, very slightly, but his heart wasn't in it.

When Rumple and Mungo had finally worn themselves out again, they huddled together under the crimson blanket left in one corner of the tiny area we were in and were instantly asleep again.

Ordinarily, I would have gone and joined them, but I suddenly found that I didn't want to. I wanted much more to snuggle up to Tugger. I could only think of one good reason, and that was that he had saved me. He had rescued me from my demise, and for that, I immediately took to him. I felt a bond to him like no other cat, not even Mungo and Rumple, the only family I'd ever had. He'd cared enough to save my worthless life. He _cared_.

Tugger tried to squirm away from me, but I persisted until he gave in and let me curl up between his paws and sleep there. I felt more secure then at that moment than ever before. Somehow, I knew that I'd need Tugger again someday, and I was content to know that he'd be there.


	2. Growing Up

Growing up is difficult.

Especially for a cat like myself, who was very different from any of the other cats. In fact, the only cat who really seemed able to look past my differences was Rum Tum Tugger. Maybe it was because he himself was rather different from the rest of the Jellicles. Whatever the reason, whenever I was suffering from the teasing and scorn of the other cats, he was always there for me to run to, and he would, if reluctantly, offer his sympathy and allow me to take refuge from my tormentors. If they came after me to where I was sitting with him, he would get rid of them himself. I adored him.

And yet, even with Tugger's help, I had my troubles. I was almost solid black, except for a distinct white pattern on my chest, whereas most of the other cats had a great conglomeration of different colors, excepting a few of the older cats. This, in addition to my alleged relation to Macavity, and my personal affinity for Tugger made me mostly an enigma among the other younger cats. I was very different in another way, too, as I found out in a shocking and frightening way one night.

I'd had a rough day as it was, taking flak from this and that, and being the target of multiple pranks played on me by the other kittens. Tugger had been rather elusive all day, spending time with one of the queens, and by the time the sun had dipped below the horizon, I was exhausted and haggard, angry at all the other cats in the junkyard for the way they treated me, and in no mood to tolerate any more abuse.

And so naturally, when Alonzo and Pouncival caught sight of me as I was heading back to my own little niche of the junkyard, they simply couldn't resist pulling just one more stunt, to round the day off right.

I was tired, so I immediately went over to the old trunk I slept in and fell asleep almost instantly. Less than a minute later, I awoke to find myself completely drenched in motor oil, with a rain of feathers still falling around me and settling on my now-sticky coat.

I was horrified and furious. I shook vigorously, futilely attempting to rid myself of the disgusting oily mess. I knew it would take a real bath in water to get it off, since I couldn't safely lick myself, and even after my fur was clean, it would be slick and disgusting for days afterwards. Needless to say, in addition to the grief I had suffered all through the rest of the day, this was the last straw.

I furiously searched for the poor souls who had committed this crime, intent on making them pay dearly. Alonzo and Pouncival were only a yard or so away, falling over each other in laughter, pointing at me and throwing random insults around.

I wasn't listening. In a rage completely unlike my typically quiet and patient manner, I balled up my fists, gritted my teeth, and went after them.

They hadn't been expecting me to retaliate, and so when I swung, I caught Alonzo squarely in the jaw, knocking him to the ground, stunned. Without giving him time to recover, I leaped onto him and started to rail him with all the pent-up fury I'd been harboring all day.

Naturally, Pouncival came to his friend's aid and threw me off, and I stumbled back a few paces. Pouncival helped Alonzo up, and then turned to attack me.

But I'd had enough. I felt a massive charge of heated energy building up in my paws, and as Pouncival started towards me, I didn't think, but only did what I instinctively knew to do and held both paws out towards him.

At first, I had no idea what I was doing, and felt rather foolish for it. Pouncival looked as though he was going to make a smart remark, but suddenly, his face contorted in horror as twin bolts of blue-white lightning flashed out of my fingertips and towards him.

One bolt missed and hit a tire behind him, lifting it off the ground and throwing it a few yards. The other almost missed, too, but one tendril caught him in his midsection and threw him a yard or so, landing him in Alonzo's lap and knocking them both to the ground.

Both cats stared at me. I stared at my paws. The attack had just surprised me, but it had terrified them. They both jumped up and took off, screaming bloody murder. But I just stood there, still staring at my own two paws. I sat down, hard. It was incredible. It was something completely unbelievable, and entirely unprecedented. In all the stories of the legendary cats I'd heard of – the Rumpus Cat et al. – I'd never heard of any cat who could shoot lightning from his fingertips. It was both exciting and terrifying at once.

I then realized what kind of power I now held; my fingertips still tingled from the blast. Had either or both bolts struck Pouncival squarely, I'm convinced he would have been killed where he had stood, without question. Luckily, I couldn't control my aim at all, so I had mercifully missed.

That was the terrifying part. The exciting part was that I now had a means to keep other cats from bothering me as long as I lived. I could threaten to electrocute them where they stood, and they would undoubtedly leave me be. Also, I had the ability to rule over all the other cats. The possibility of such power was unbelievably intoxicating. Not only could I rule the Jellicles, but with my powers and their numbers, I could easily rove about the city, finding and crushing other cat tribes until the Jellicles stood above them all, with me at the helm. The very thought made me dizzy.

Suddenly, I shook my head. I couldn't believe what thoughts were surfacing in my own head. Visions of power and control? That wasn't me at all! I didn't want power. I didn't want to lead the Jellicles. I had no desire to be famous, or influential. I wanted to be…vague. Yes, that was it, vague and aloof. I nodded. That was more like me. I sighed, feeling better.

But my happiness didn't last long. Suddenly, seven of the adult cats and four kittens appeared in random places around my niche. I did a quick double take, and my stomach suddenly sank. I remembered what I'd done to Pouncival and Alonzo, who were cowering behind Skimbleshanks, and I knew I was in for it. What "it" was, I wasn't sure, but I knew it couldn't be good.

Munkustrap stepped forward first, tentatively coming a few feet closer, obviously afraid of what I might do to him. I offered my paws in a gesture of peace, and instantly, every cat dove out of sight. I realized that they were terrified of the power I held in these paws and I sighed sadly. Putting them behind my back, I stood up and called out to the tribe. "It's okay; I won't hurt any of you. I…I didn't really mean to hurt Pouncival, anyway. It was an accident. Honestly!"

Munkustrap's face reappeared from behind a pile of scrap metal. "Accident or not, if it's true, then it's dangerous. Magic is a serious matter."

Magic? It made sense, in a weird, convoluted sort of way. I held my paws up again. "I only did it because I was mad at him. I'm not mad anymore. I swear I won't do it again. On my honor as a Jellicle, I swear."

This seemed to satisfy most of the bystanders, and they all reappeared again, one by one, as Munkustrap came out from hiding and came a little closer. When he was close enough to touch me, he tentatively took one of my paws and examined it. Finding nothing particularly unusual, he frowned down at me. "We have to take you to Old Deuteronomy. He'll know what's going on. Come on."

"Right now?"

Munkustrap nodded. "Now."

* * *

Deuteronomy looked at my paws carefully, and then looked up into my eyes just as carefully. He instructed me to turn around slowly, examining me from every angle. He then sat back, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "How did you do it again, Quaxo?"

I retold my story as I had for Munkustrap as we had been walking to come see Deuteronomy. "I was mad, because everyone had been playing jokes on me all day, and when I went to go to sleep in my trunk, Alonzo and Pouncival dumped some oil on me. I woke up, attacked Alonzo, and Pouncival threw me off, and I stood up and…did it. It just happened. It was like it was automatic. I didn't-"

Deuteronomy cut me off. "I know, I know, you didn't mean to." He dropped it at that and continued to stare at me. Munkustrap was a few feet away, watching from a distance. Finally, Deuteronomy gave me a grave look and shook his head. "Well, I know what it is. And I know what we have to do."

I gulped. This couldn't be good. "Wh-what?"

He held the frown for a moment longer, and then suddenly broke into a wide grin. "It's magic. You're a magical cat, Quaxo, and the most powerful I've seen in a long time. Unquestionably more powerful than me, even."

Munkustrap's jaw dropped open. Mine did too, I think. "I'm what? But…but you're…I'm just…I can't…what do we have to do?"

Deuteronomy's eyes twinkled. "We have to train you, so you can control that power, and put it to good use."

This was definitely more than I'd bargained for, but I wasn't about to protest. If it could be put to good use, I was all for it. "Wow! When can we start?"

Deuteronomy laughed and waved a paw. "Whenever you like. Right now, if you wish." I nodded vigorously. Deuteronomy nodded back and smiled at Munkustrap. "You go back to the Junkyard. We'll be here for a while. I'll send him home when we're finished."

Munkustrap looked completely perplexed, but nonetheless bowed to the Jellicle leader and departed, leaving me alone with Deuteronomy. I looked to the old cat. He smiled back. "Shall we begin?" I nodded.

And we began.

* * *

We worked for nearly a week, and when we finally finished, I was wasted. Practicing magic and learning all there was to know was exhausting. Even so, however, it had been invigorating, and incredible. Magic was such an unfathomable subject that even Deuteronomy himself could not teach me everything, and I had to learn quite a lot on my own.

On the last day of training, Deuteronomy sat me down and smiled. "Well, you've done it. It took a couple of days, but you've done it. You are now the most magical cat I have ever had the privilege of training. I cannot fathom what may have invoked your powers, but I do know that because of it, you now have an enormous responsibility. I know I said this to you on the first day of training, but it is exceptionally important that you remember it."

I nodded. "I remember, father." He wasn't really my father, but I'd sort of taken to calling him as such anyway, as a means of showing respect.

"Do you, now? Repeat it to me, then."

I did. "Magic is a supernatural power, and must be treated as such. Magic must never be used for destruction or injury, only construction and healing. Magic mustn't be used to directly alter others' feelings or emotions; every cat's mind is his own. Magic must be taken seriously, and never toyed with." Reciting the guidelines and rules was depressing; it only reminded me of what I couldn't or shouldn't do.

But Deuteronomy instantly lifted my spirits with eight words. "Good. Now let's see what you can do!"

I grinned, only too glad to show him. For the next half hour or so, I did all I knew how to do, lifting heavy objects with ease, making things appear and disappear at will, vanishing and reappearing wherever I desired, creating lightning storms and lighting up the alcove we were secreted in. For a finale, I lifted two tires and a full-length mirror into the air and reflected lightning bolts off the mirror into the tires, melting them in seconds. I then dropped all three, making them disappear before they hit the ground. I bowed.

Deuteronomy clapped vigorously. "Fantastic! Wonderful! You have indeed learned all I can teach you. Of course, you will continue to learn and grow as you get older, but for now, I feel that you have enough control that I can send you back to the junkyard with confidence." I smiled. Finally, I'd get to rejoin my peers, and they would almost certainly treat me with higher respect now that I had shown them what I could do to them. I grinned evilly to myself. I may not have been permitted to use my powers against them, but they didn't know that.

But suddenly, Deuteronomy crushed all my dreams in one phrase. "But you can't let the other Jellicles know you have magic."

I was stunned. My mouth opened and closed a few times before I could actually speak. "What? Why!"

Deuteronomy's face was sad and stern at the same time. "Because if they do, they will shun you. They will fear you, and you will suffer for it. So when you go back to the Junkyard, the first words you should speak to anyone on this matter are 'I no longer have any magical powers. I am a normal cat.'"

I shook my head. "But…but I need them to know! How can they respect me if I'm not magical?"

Deuteronomy looked me straight in the eyes. "How can they respect you if you are?"

I was about to explain my plan for stirring fear in the souls of the other cats as a means of keeping them off my back when I suddenly realized what he meant. They wouldn't respect me; they would be terrified of me. They would avoid me, reject me, and I would have had even fewer friends than I had then. I lowered my head and sighed softly. "I understand."

I felt a reassuring paw on my shoulder. I looked up to see Deuteronomy's encouraging smile. "Don't worry, young Quaxo. I'm not saying you must stop doing magic. Just make the other cats believe you have."

"All of them?" I was thinking about Tugger, and Munkustrap.

Deuteronomy shook his head. "No. Munkustrap knows you are magical, and he also knows it cannot be quelled. He will keep it to himself, though."

I nodded, and then carefully ventured a question. "What about Tugger?"

Deuteronomy considered for a moment. "I don't know…can he keep a secret?" I nodded. He shrugged. "Then I don't see why not. You can tell anyone you know for a fact won't tell anyone else, and won't fear you because of it." I must have grinned then, because he laughed softly and patted my back. "Now, go back to the Junkyard and tell everyone how you've lost your powers." He winked.

I grinned and nodded and took off for the Junkyard.


	3. Lies and Love at First Sight

When I finally stepped back into my adopted home, I got pretty much the same reaction I'd been expecting. Munkustrap met me first, throwing out an arm and courageously standing in my way. "Stop." I did. He stared at me. "Well, what happened?"

I wondered if what Deuteronomy had said was true, and that Munkustrap really knew that magic couldn't be erased. "He stamped my magical powers out. I'm not a magical cat anymore. I'm just a normal Jellicle again."

He knew. "That's a lie. Magic can't be eliminated. Deuteronomy himself told me so. Tell me the truth. What did he teach you?"

I told him. "Everything. I can control my powers now. I can make things appear, disappear, and a surfeit of other things. He says I'm the most magical cat he's ever seen."

Munkustrap nodded. "I believe it." Suddenly, his face softened into a friendly smile, and he lowered his arm. "That must have been some blast you gave Pouncival. He and Alonzo were babbling like fools when they came to get us. I bet he deserved it, though, didn't he?" He winked.

I nodded, smiling, a little surprised by his reaction. "He sure did. They poured oil and feathers on me."

Munkustrap chuckled. "Well, I don't think they'll do that again, now that you have those powers."

I suddenly frowned, remembering what Deuteronomy had said. I looked at Munkustrap sheepishly. "Um…well, they may do it again. They won't know I have these powers."

Munkustrap raised an eyebrow. "Come again?"

I sighed. "Deuteronomy told me I have to tell everyone that my powers have been extinguished. Everyone except you and Tugger."

Munkustrap looked for a moment like he was going to ask why, but then nodded slowly, frowning himself. "Yes, I can see why he would say that. It would cause somewhat of a panic, wouldn't it, knowing that you were magical? I suppose it's for the best." He looked genuinely disappointed. "Well, come along, then. I'll help you tell the rest of the tribe that you've lost your powers." He paused, thinking. "I suppose you'll be teased again, won't you?"

I nodded sadly, and he made one short, curt movement with his paw and sniffed. "Well, if anyone comes after you and starts to ridicule you, you come to me, and I'll put an end to it, you hear?" I managed a surprised nod, and he grinned, beckoning me to follow him out into the middle of the artificial amphitheater created by the mounds of refuse in the Junkyard. He whistled loudly, and most of the Jellicles appeared within a few seconds.

He addressed the entire group. "Attention! Our dear friend Quaxo has returned, and he has something to say." He bowed to me, and I stepped forward nervously.

"Uh…hi…" I cleared my throat. "As most of you know, I left the Junkyard to see Old Deuteronomy about the magical powers I accidentally used against Pouncival some time ago, and I am…pleased…to say that I am no longer a magical cat." There were a few gasps, a few relieved sighs, and Pouncival's face broke into an evil grin, and he and Alonzo exchanged a glance. I knew I'd be the butt of their pranks again within the hour. I ignored them. "So there is no longer any reason to fear me. I'm just as normal as any of you. Thank you."

I stepped back, and Munkustrap came forward again. He adjourned the group, and the Jellicles all returned to whatever they had been busy with before. Munkustrap flashed me a quick, reassuring smile, and then disappeared himself.

* * *

Left alone again, I started back to my own little living area, to see what damage had been done while I was gone. Surprisingly, it had been untouched. Perhaps the others had been so apprehensive of what I might do when I returned that they'd been too afraid to mess with anything. 

I sighed happily and settled back into my bed, glad simply to be home again at last. I thought about what Munkustrap had said. He'd never before shown me any kind of compassion, so this was a big step. He was already offering to protect me from the ravages of other contemptuous cats. I smiled; it was a good thing. Munkustrap had the highest authority in the Junkyard, save for Old Deuteronomy himself, and now that I knew I had him on my side, I felt much better about facing Alonzo and his little gang.

Suddenly, my fantasies of getting Alonzo and Pouncival into major trouble with Munkustrap were interrupted by a slight sound. Fearing another oil attack, I immediately sprang out of bed and stood ready to assault the intruder.

But Pouncival and his cohorts were nowhere to be seen. In their stead was a single, solitary young female, perhaps my age, entirely white, with a pink collar, and looking utterly terrified.

I reflected for a fraction of a second that she might be part of one of Alonzo and Pouncival's schemes, but quickly dismissed the idea; she was too petrified to be conniving. Besides, I'd never seen her before.

I relaxed and smiled amicably. "Hi. I'm Quaxo. What's your name?"

She recoiled slightly. "Please don't hurt me! I didn't mean to intrude! I didn't know this was your home. I'll leave if you want me to." She held up her paws in submission. "Just don't hurt me," she repeated.

I shook my head and took a small step towards her. She took an equally sized step back. She seemed awfully skittish. Obviously not a street cat. "I won't hurt you. I'm not mad. I was just surprised, that's all. See, I usually get picked on by the other cats, and I have to stay on my toes, unless I want to wake up in an oil bath." Her eyes widened slightly at the thought. I continued. "I'm Quaxo," I repeated. "What's your name?"

She relaxed very slightly. "I'm Victoria." She straightened a bit. "You…won't hurt me?"

I shook my head and climbed up onto the top of my trunk. "Not unless you hurt me first." She smiled. I smiled back and patted the trunk next to me. "Now, why don't you come over here, and tell me a bit about yourself. You act like you've never been to the Junkyard before. Are you new?"

She came slowly over to my trunk and sat on the corner. I sat next to her. She looked at her feet as she spoke which she crossed at the ankles shyly. Her voice was entrancing; it was soft but clear, and it lilted a bit as she spoke, rising and falling like a melody. Every word was a note, every sentence a song, and every topic was a musical score. It was glorious to listen to.

"Yes, I am. I came to the Junkyard just yesterday by accident; I was lost. Jemima and Electra found me, and they took me to Munkustrap, who asked me a lot of questions about where I came from, who I was, and the like, and then he asked if I wanted to be a Jellicle. I still haven't told him one way or the other. I'm not sure yet." She suddenly looked at me. Her eyes were captivating. "What's it like?"

I had to mentally shake myself back to reality before I could speak, and I was forced to look down at my own feet in order to answer. "Oh, I don't know. I didn't really have much of a choice, myself. I was brought here by Rum Tum Tugger."

"Who?"

I struggled to describe Tugger. "Tugger. He's mostly black…he's got a big orange-black mane, he's got a spiked collar…he's really forward, flirtatious."

"Oh. I haven't met him." She looked a mite ashamed of this, as though I expected her to already have met all the Jellicles.

I waved a paw dismissively. "That's okay. He's hard to find. He stays hidden unless he wants to be found." She seemed a bit more at ease with this.

I continued. "Like I said, he brought me here, and I was made a Jellicle on the spot. But I can't complain. They're the only family I've ever really had, except for Mungo and Rumple." Again, by the blank look on her face, it was clear she hadn't met these two, either. I made a mental note to introduce her to everyone when I got a chance. "But I like it, just the same. The cats here actually care about you. If you have a problem, you can go and talk to any of them, and they'll help you with it. If you just need a shoulder to cry on, you can turn to any of the adults, and they'll take time out of their lives for you. It's grand."

She looked enthralled. "Really?" I nodded. She smiled. I held my breath. I could watch her smile all day. "I'm glad. I have a human family, but they don't talk to me. They treat me well enough, but they can't really understand me."

I nodded. "Well, we won't spoil you here, but we'll do whatever we can." I smiled winningly, or at least as winningly as I could muster.

She didn't visibly react, which was disappointing. She simply nodded and smiled again, climbing down off of my trunk and turning to leave. "Thanks, Quaxo. You've been a big help." She paused for a second, looking away. "You know, you're the first cat who's paid any attention to me since Munkustrap. Everyone else just seems to give me the cold shoulder…you know what I mean?"

I climbed down myself and walked over to her, smiling slightly. "Yeah, I do. They do that to me a lot, too. I guess you just get used to it." She looked crestfallen, so I quickly added, "but I promise you won't have to; I'll never overlook you."

I was a mite surprised at my own forwardness; I wasn't usually one to say things like that. But she didn't seem to be bothered by it. She just gave me a quiet "Thanks," a small, shy smile, and then disappeared into the night.


	4. Betrayed Dreams

All the rest of that night and all through my dreams, I thought about the beautiful white cat named Victoria. It was just as though she were a gift from the Everlasting Cat.

In fact, much of the past few days had been almost too good to be true. First, discovering I had magical powers, even if they had to stay mostly secret; then Munkustrap and his sudden interest in my welfare; and finally, Victoria, the female that every male dreams of in his most secret fantasies. It seemed too good to last.

It turned out to be just that.

The following morning, I awoke to a marvelous sunrise. As I sat on my trunk and stared at the pastel palette of deep reds, flaming oranges, and pale violets, I envisioned Victoria sitting next to me and nearly fell off my perch sideways trying to rub against my imagination. When the sun had risen sufficiently for me to see the Junkyard by, I went off in search of my newest friend.

It took me some time to locate her, because I kept getting lost in daydreams of how it would be when I suavely dipped to one knee, took her paw, and, kissing it gently, asked her as smoothly as possible if she would "do me the honor of being my mate…" Consequently, I would lose my sense of direction and end up in some area of the Junkyard I'd never seen before. It was after noon by the time I actually tracked her down in the amphitheater. When I did find her, though, it was a painful and sobering scene that met my eyes. Victoria was easy enough to spot; she was surrounded by the other young males of the Junkyard, all of whom were trying in earnest to impress her simultaneously. She was trying hard not to show that she enjoyed the attention, but it was evident by the smile on her face that she was more than delighted to entertain them all.

I, however, was not amused. Valiantly fighting the tears that welled up in my eyes, I left by the same route from whence I had come, praying I had not been noticed. Unfortunately, I had, and as I turned to escape, I heard Victoria's distressed voice calling out after me. "Quaxo, wait!" But I had no desire to talk to her, not now. I just wanted to get away. Let her chase me if she was that determined to speak to me.

When I was away from the amphitheater, I took off running, tears coursing down my cheeks, fueled by superlative emotions: Hatred of all the other males for moving in on Victoria, fury at Victoria for letting them, but mostly utter contempt of myself, for having ever gotten myself wrapped up in her in the first place.

Suddenly, I ran directly into a huge black wall and fell back, shaking my head. When I looked up, it was the Rum Tum Tugger who gazed back down at me, an eyebrow raised in surprise. He initially smiled at seeing me again; I hadn't yet encountered him since I'd returned from training with Deuteronomy. But his smile quickly faded when he saw the tears on my cheeks. Genuinely concerned, but loath to show it, he asked me a simple, mildly teasing question: "Who're you running from?"

I backed away from him just slightly and struggled to my feet, attempting to dry the tears from my furred cheeks and combating the ones still welling up in my eyes. "N-no one. I was…just running." The lie sounded terrible even to me. I was sure Tugger wouldn't believe it.

He didn't. "Right. You, run for fun? Since when?"

I sighed sadly. "Since about half a minute ago."

Tugger nodded sympathetically, then helped me back to my feet and led me off to a secluded area of the junkyard and sat me down on an old tire. He then sat across from me and broke into his trademark half-smile. "First of all, when did you get back?"

The question about my obvious absence caught me off-guard, and I took a moment to answer. "Oh, uh…last night." Suddenly, Victoria's shyly smiling face and stunning eyes flashed through my mind and a fresh wave of tears threatened to make an appearance. I looked away.

Tugger didn't speak again for a moment, and when he did, it was not before he sighed softly and put a paw on my shoulder. "Alright, what's wrong?"

I looked back up into his eyes. The empathy in them was permission enough for me to let my feelings go. The tears started down my cheeks again. "I-…girl troubles…" I didn't really want to say any more than that. I reflected for a second on the foolishness of harboring feelings for a female I'd only just met. I decided it wasn't worth wasting Tugger's time over.

Apparently, he disagreed. "Sounds like it's right up my alley. Spill it. Start at the beginning."

I started to protest, but he just glared at me until I wilted, and I finally broke. "I came back last night from Deuteronomy's, and while I was lying in my trunk, I heard a sound, and when I went to see what it was, I came across this female…"

"Tell me about her."

I spread my paws apart and shrugged. "Where would I start? She's completely white, she has a pink collar, and she's got these incredible eyes. And she's got a wonderful voice…you just wish she would talk to you all day…" I slowly lost myself in fantasies of the night before.

Tugger snapped me from my reverie with a chuckle. "Easy there, tiger. So what happened next?"

"So I talked to her; she was so afraid I was going to hurt her. But I eventually convinced her I wasn't, and I introduced myself, and asked her about herself. She told me that she came to the Junkyard because she had gotten lost and was found by a couple of the kittens, who brought her to Munkustrap. He interrogated her, and asked her if she wanted to be a Jellicle. She hasn't decided yet…" I paused, trailing off.

Tugger looked at me queerly, and then nodded slowly. "And you've got a thing for her." I nodded weakly. He thought for a moment. His eyes lit up as he realized whom I was talking about. "Oh, that little white kitten out in the amphitheater? Vicky? She came out real early this morning and introduced herself to everyone. Nice girl. You've got good taste, Quaxo." He snickered.

I didn't share his mirth. "Sure, but who cares? It doesn't matter. Obviously, she doesn't feel the same way about me." Tugger raised an eyebrow skeptically. I shrugged. "What? Didn't you see how all the other males were fawning over her? And it's not like she resented the attention, either. Face it, Tugger; I'm just not the master charmer you are." I virtually spat the last sentence at him. I felt the resentment at my undeserved situation fighting to release itself in anger. I refused to let it; Tugger was too important to me.

I shouldn't have worried. Tugger was clearly unfazed by my harsh words and only scolded me, "That's foolish. I'm sure she feels just the same way about you that you do about her. You haven't given her a chance. You just saw her with all those other toms and jumped to a conclusion."

"Well, what was I supposed to think? That she didn't want all of them falling over her like that? Come on, Tugger! You've got eyes! You've got a brain! Get real! She's just a flirt, and that's it!" It hurt to say, and I didn't mean it, but hell, I was angry.

Tugger snorted and frowned, his gaze slowly sliding away from mine, up over my head as he looked as something behind me. "Humph. You don't believe that."

"Yes, I do," I lied, growling softly.

He pointed over my shoulder. "Tell her that."

I slowly turned around, hoping against hope that I was wrong about who I thought was behind me. Naturally, I wasn't. Victoria stood there, as unbearably beautiful as ever, more so, if that was possible, her mouth hanging slightly open in disbelief at what I'd said. Her eyes glistened slightly, and her paws trembled as she stared at me, wounded.

I held out a paw to her. "No, wait, Victoria, I didn't mean that…"

She wasn't listening. With a pained sob, she turned away, tears running down her cheeks, and took off, as I stood helpless. After a moment, I slowly turned back to Tugger, who was standing with his paws hanging in his belt, looking at me with an open expression and a tilted head. He didn't say anything, but the disapproval was obvious. It was unquestionably worse than having him scold me. Desperately, I started to try to explain myself to him, but he simply shook his head. "Forget it. You can't explain your way out of this one. There's only one thing you can do, now." He shook his head again and left.

I knew what he meant, but now I was afraid to face her. I didn't want to have to tell her how I really felt, didn't want to have to face those incredible blue tear-filled eyes again. Against my better judgment, I decided to put it off for at least a little while.

Apology could wait. I had to practice my magic. Magic came first…

…I told myself.


	5. Dangerous Revelations

I ducked in cover as another heavy tire came crashing to earth. Cursing angrily, I stomped over to it and kicked it. "Why won't you stay in the air!" I gave it one last kick, then sat down on it and buried my face in my arms. I knew exactly why it wouldn't stay in the air. It wasn't the tire; it was me. I couldn't focus right. Victoria's wounded face kept popping into my mind just as I needed to focus my hardest, effectively destroying my concentration. It was a hopeless situation. I was still afraid to confront her, but I couldn't do anything else until I did. I muttered angrily about girls, putting my foot in my mouth, and life in general.

As I mumbled quiet oaths to myself, Munkustrap suddenly appeared seemingly from nowhere and raised an eyebrow at me. I looked at him, surprised. He smiled. "Hey, Quaxo, what are you up to?"

"Oh, uh, just practicing my magic a bit."

He raised an eyebrow. "Aren't you afraid someone will see you practicing?"

I shook my head and waved a paw around the area. "No one ever comes here. I found it once upon a time in the beginning, when I was still getting lost every third hour. I used to come here all the time just to be alone and think." I paused, staring at him. "Come to think of it, how did you find this place?"

He snorted. "I know this Junkyard like the back of my hand. I can find anyone, any time, no matter where they are."

My eyes widened. "That's almost unnerving."

He chuckled. "Well, don't worry too much about it. It's a power I only use when I really need it."

"Power like magical power?"

He shook his head. "No such luck. I'm just really good at keeping an eye on everything that happens here in the junkyard." I nodded. Actually, knowing that Munkustrap had this ability was very reassuring. I'd never have to worry about whether or not someone would find me if I got lost.

He smiled. "Can I watch?"

"Watch? Me practice? I suppose…" I stood up and brushed the dust off of my shoulders. Munkustrap sat on a nearby mattress and watched. I turned and lifted the same tire I'd been suspending earlier and twirled it a bit in the air. Munkustrap watched silently, fascinated.

Then came the tough part. Focusing on keeping the tire airborne, I ran up to it and leaped into the air, carrying myself up to perch on top of it. Balancing myself and still holding the tire aloft, I slowly turned and bowed to Munkustrap, who was applauding vigorously and smiling from ear to ear. "Wonderful! That's amazing! How do you do it?"

I leaped back down and bowed again, grinning. "Oh, it's simple. I'm just magical." I laughed.

Munkustrap laughed, too. "No kidding. Deuteronomy was right; you are something. I've seen a couple of magical cats before, but nothing like you. You're astounding. Boy, if only you could show the other cats; every queen would want you, and every tom would want to be you." He laughed again.

I didn't join him this time. Victoria's face had materialized in my mind's eye again, and my focus was shattered as I thought of her hearing me say that she was nothing more than a flirt. My own eyes started tearing up as I thought about it.

Suddenly, Munkustrap gasped. "Quaxo, look out!" Before I could react or reply, he shoved me out of the way and dove backwards. I sat up and turned around just in time to see the tire come crashing back to earth with a thunderous rumble that made the ground shake. Munkustrap bounced up and ran over to me. "Are you OK?" I nodded. He suddenly frowned. "What happened?"

I shook my head and stood up. "N-nothing. Just lost my focus, that's all. It…not a big deal."

He looked at me incredulously. "Not a big deal? Not a big deal! You almost got yourself killed! No cat is so magical as to be invulnerable. What do you mean you 'lost your focus'?"

I sighed and sat on the tire again. "It's just…nothing. It's nothing."

He didn't buy it. He sat next to me and touched my shoulder. "Quaxo, I know I'm not always the most approachable of cats, but I don't like seeing any Jellicle in pain. What's wrong?"

I looked at him. He seemed genuinely concerned. "It's just…girl troubles." That seemed to explain my entire life these days. "See, I met this girl last night…and I kinda like her…but I saw her with another tom…" ten or so… "and I ran away. While I was running, I came across Tugger, and he asked me what happened, and I told him…and I said some things I didn't mean, not realizing that she was standing behind me…and now I keep thinking about her, and how she looked when she heard what I said…" I sighed.

Munkustrap thought for a moment. "Victoria, right?"

I looked up at him, surprised. "How'd you know?"

He smiled. "That's easy. She was the only kitten with anyone near her this morning. She was surrounded by toms when I saw her last. But I haven't seen her since then. Any ideas as to where she is?" He looked at me with a little half-smile.

I shook my head miserably. "No, but I know what she's doing."

"What?"

"She's probably with some other tom, getting back at me." Munkustrap suddenly whacked me in the back of the head, hard. I fell off the tire and looked back at him incredulously. "What was that for!"

He had a furious scowl on his face. "For being a selfish, stupid little brat! How can you say that? You're a little fool if you really think that she's the type of kitten to do that. Honestly, Quaxo, if you jump to conclusions like that, you're really going to get yourself in trouble some day."

I stood and stomped angrily away. "What is it with everyone and me jumping to conclusions! I do not jump to conclusions!"

Munkustrap stood and crossed his arms across his chest. "Oh? And if you saw Victoria and Tumblebrutus walk off together, what would you think?"

I stopped suddenly. I knew exactly what I'd think, but I knew that it was unlikely. Tumblebrutus had no interest in females, not yet anyway. "I…don't know."

Munkustrap shook his head. "Yes you do. You know exactly what you'd think, and you'd be wrong. You see, Quaxo? You do jump to conclusions."

I knew he was right, but as with many things lately, I simply wasn't ready to face it. Frustrated, I turned my back to him and stomped off angrily. He called out to me as I left, his words leaving a stinging thought in my mind. "She's lonely, Quaxo. She hasn't got any friends, only admirers. Except you. If you ever want to be with her, you'd better start trusting her."

* * *

It was dark when I made my way quietly into the amphitheater. Surprisingly, it was completely deserted; usually, there were cats there at all hours of the day and night. Tonight, it was eerily silent. I sighed and started over to sit on the bumper of a car and mull over the thoughts still drifting through my head. 

"Nice night, isn't it?" I jumped a foot or so at the sudden soft sound of another cat sitting just behind me. The voice was subtle and smiling, confident but mysterious. When I turned to see who the speaker was, I found Coricopat and Tantomile, together as usual, sitting on top of the car, smiling down at me.

I sighed in relief. "Oh, wow, you scared me, Coricopat. You shouldn't sneak up on cats like that."

Coricopat looked at me with a slight smirk on his lips and a tiny twinkle in his eye. "I didn't sneak up on anyone; you came over and sat in front of me."

I waved a paw and sat back down. "Details." For some reason, while Coricopat and Tantomile's mystical nature tended to make all the rest of the cats a bit nervous around them, they didn't bother me in the slightest. There was some sort of supernatural connection between us. They too had magical powers; I was sure of it, albeit not as prominent as mine. They could read minds, though, and that was something I couldn't do.

Coricopat slid down and sat next to me. Tantomile slid down next to him. Both looked at me. "What's troubling you, Quaxo?" They said it at the same time. I had difficulty deciding which to look at when I replied. I finally chose Coricopat.

"Victoria. I made some mistakes, and now I have to go apologize, but I don't want to."

"Why?" Only Coricopat asked.

I actually hadn't stopped to figure that out yet. "Oh…well…I guess I'm just…afraid to face her, that's all."

"Why?" Now, only Tantomile spoke.

I frowned angrily. "Is that your favorite word?"

They spoke in unison again. "Yes."

"Oh…" How foolish of me not to realize that.

"Why?" they repeated.

I squirmed. "Well…I don't know, I guess I'm just afraid to see her face again."

"But you love her face. Why would you be afraid to see it now?" There it was; proof that they could read minds.

"Because it might be angry, or upset, or have tears on it, and I don't want to see her like that."

Coricopat. "Like what?"

I shrugged. "You know…hurt."

Tantomile. "Why's she hurt?"

I thought. "Well, because…" It suddenly dawned on me why they had led me along this line of questioning. "…because of…me." I looked at them. They smiled, then stood, bowed, and strutted off.

I too stood and nodded decisively. I knew exactly what I had to do, and I was off to do it. I stalked away, intent on finding Victoria before dawn's first light.


	6. Desperate Flashback

Frustratingly enough, however, I was not able to locate Victoria that night. Eventually, about the same time that the sun started to poke up over the horizon, I gave up, staggered back to my nook, and collapsed into my trunk.

I slept most of that day away, and when I awoke and continued my search for Victoria, the sun was already high in the sky. I looked everywhere I could think that she might be, including the amphitheater, my own little area, and Tugger's little alcove. I scoured the entire Junkyard, even venturing a bit outside the Junkyard, in case she was hiding just beyond the borders.

But she wasn't. I came back to the Junkyard and collapsed in Tugger's pipe, mumbling softly to myself in despair. "I did it. I drove her away. She's gone, and it's all my fault. I can't believe I said that…and waited so long to apologize…and…and…oh, what was I thinking? I'm such a!"

Suddenly, Tugger appeared, hanging upside-down from the top of one side of the pipe. "Hey, who are you ranting at in here?" Seeing that I was obviously raving at myself, his smirk changed to a sympathetic frown, and he dropped down and slid in next to me. "What's wrong, Quax?"

I sighed and looked at him with tears in my eyes. "I made her leave. I made Victoria hate the Jellicles. She's gone, and it's my fault." I buried my face in my paws.

Tugger was silent for a moment, and then touched my shoulder. "Now you know that's not true. If anything, you taught her that not all cats are as prejudiced as some. Like, Pouncival, and Admetus. Do you know what they did when she first came here?" I shook my head. Of course I didn't know; I hadn't been there. "They mocked her. Called her 'House-cat,' 'Powder-puff,' all kinds of cruel names."

I was horrified. "They did?" Somehow, it didn't occur to me how anyone could even consider insulting such a perfect creature.

He nodded solemnly. "Yes, they did. But that was before they realized how old she was, and that she actually was interested in males their age, unlike Electra and the other kittens. They know that Jemima and Etcetera and all of the littler queens are on the border, but until Vicky came along, the young toms only had the older queens to harass. Now that there's a queen their age, they all latched onto her like ticks. But she doesn't care for any of them. She likes the attention, but that's only because she gets it at home, and that's what she's used to. There's nothing serious about any of it."

I suddenly cut him off angrily. "Stop it! Lying to me isn't going to help the situation. You can't honestly tell me that she doesn't like any of them. I mean, how couldn't she? They were all over her yesterday. You can't look at me with a straight face and tell me she has no interest in any of them." I silently hoped he could.

Tugger's face was indignant, but definitely straight. "I can't, can't I? I am right now. She thinks Pouncival, and Alonzo, and Tumblebrutus, and Admetus, and all of them are scum."

"And how do you know what she thinks, Tugger? You can't see her thoughts!" I left the pipe and stood up angrily. There were four or five other cats in the amphitheater, including Alonzo and Admetus, who looked slightly miffed at Tugger's outburst, but I ignored them.

Tugger came out, too, his face a picture of aggravation. "And neither can you! You have no idea what she thinks about you, and you're too blinded by your jealousy to see through your own self-pity!" He suddenly was in my face, almost yelling at me.

I was in his face too, though. "Oh yeah? If you're so smart, what does she think about me, then?"

He suddenly calmed and backed slightly away, crossing his arms over his chest smugly. "Why don't you go ask her yourself?" I must have had a bewildered look on my face, because he smirked and took my arm and led me out of the amphitheater, all the way to the outskirts of the Junkyard. He turned me to face him. "Now look. Victoria's family lives up that way a few blocks. They have a big white Victorian mansion. It's the only one on the block. You can't miss it." He gave me the house number. "I'd come with you, but I've got things to do back here. You think you'll be OK by yourself?"

I nodded. "Yeah, if I get in trouble, I'll just use my magic to get me out."

Suddenly, he looked at me in disbelief. "What magic? I thought you lost your magical powers."

I blinked once or twice, and then suddenly it dawned on me. "Oh, no, you must have talked to one of the other cats. See, I had to tell all them that I lost my powers, to keep them from being afraid of me. But I don't have to worry about that with you; you won't avoid me just because I might blast you. I'm still just as magical as ever, more so, now, because Deuteronomy taught me all he knows. He says I'm the most powerful magical cat he's ever seen, including himself. Munkustrap knows, too, but everyone else thinks I'm normal. It's a great little trick in and of itself."

Tugger smiled broadly. "That's fantastic! Congratulations!" He gave me a stout clap on the back, and I nearly fell over. He chuckled softly as I caught my breath back. "Now, you take your magical self and get out there and win back the heart of the only kitten good enough for the great Quaxo, you hear?" He laughed softly and gave me a gentle push towards the street.

I didn't need the encouragement. Grinning, I turned and gave him a quick wave, then took off in the direction of Victoria's house.

* * *

I got to the block easily enough, but when I came in sight of the massive whitewashed palace, I lost my nerve entirely. Leaning against a humbler domicile only a few houses down, I caught my breath and collected myself. Owing to a rare stroke of luck, I had found and captured a mouse that I planned on giving to her as an apology. I just hoped she would accept it. Talking softly to myself, I recapped some last minute bits of advice. "OK, just walk up, knock, and when she comes to the door, give her the mouse, apologize, then ask her to be…to be your…"

But I didn't get a chance to finish. Just then, I heard a sound I had hoped never to hear again: the sound of a troupe of Pollicles chasing a victim. Even as the cruel, malicious barks reached my ears and triggered every thread of hatred and terror I had ever associated with the demons, I saw them. I saw them coming, six, no, seven of them, bounding, racing, tripping, and panting to catch their quarry.

Instantly, I was up on a nearby wall, cowering in terror from the beasts, but even as I watched their goal flash by, feeling extreme sympathy for the poor doomed creature, I realized with horror that I recognized that creature. "Victoria!"

"Help! Please, someone, help me!" She was running as fast as she possibly could, managing to only barely stay ahead of her pursuers' frothing jowls. Her eyes were wide with panic, and her normally pure white fur was marred by mud and dust. As she blazed past my wall, the Pollicles hot on her heels, I made a sudden, irrational decision and leaped down behind them, and joined the chase myself.

I muttered softly. "This is ridiculous; a Jellicle chasing a group of Pollicles…"

But I ignored the irony as I realized that Victoria, running into an alley between two houses, had suddenly been cut off by a second group of three Pollicles blocking her exit from the corridor. The dogs all stopped as she looked back and forth between the two bands, tears of fright running freely down her cheeks. She tried futilely to plead for her life, but the ruthless dogs weren't listening; they had her trapped, and they weren't going to let her go. Faced with this fact, she closed her eyes and cowered against the ground, her paws over her head, sobbing in terror.

As I watched, a sudden flashback hit me, a single snapshot of one similar situation, so long ago, only there were fewer Pollicles, three kittens in the middle instead of just one, and there was another cat…a gray and white one…I recognized that cat, those eyes…that look…"Cassie…" I suddenly opened my eyes and saw the current situation. Victoria had replaced the three tiny kittens, and there were more Pollicles, but one thing hadn't changed: Cassie was still there.

I stopped short, dumbfounded. I knew Cassie was dead; she'd died ages ago, on that fateful night, saving my insignificant life. And yet, here she was, standing guard over Victoria just as she had stood over me that night. The look was the same, including the hatred, the love…and even the desperation. I felt my magical powers flare within me at the sight of that look.

Cassie suddenly looked to me and said urgently, "Quaxo, you have to help her! You must! She is more important than you know! She alone can change the future, and if she is slain, then the Jellicles will be destroyed. You have to stop the Pollicles, Quaxo; there is no other option!" Her eyes pierced directly into my heart and soul, and I suddenly saw it. Saw what I'd been too afraid to admit to myself. Saw what I'd been too afraid to tell anyone else. Saw what I'd been too afraid to even say out loud. But I didn't have to; Cassie said it for me. "You love her, Quaxo. You love her like no one else in this world. Take a chance for her! It may be fatal, but you have a chance! I had a chance, and I took it! Follow my example! You alone can make a difference now. I can do no more."

And with those words, she disappeared, and the Pollicles attacked.

In that fraction of a second, I made the greatest and hardest decision of my life. Knowing it would probably be the last thing I ever did, I took a deep breath and darted into the circle of Pollicles, dodging around and through their legs until I was standing over Victoria. As they had before, the dogs stopped, confounded by my sudden interference. I knew the pause wouldn't last long and readied myself for the imminent attack.

I suddenly realized how incredibly terrified Cassie must have been, facing them all by herself. Surrounded as I was, I could not watch my back, and with so many horrific eyes all staring me down at once, my resolve all but disappeared, and I just about tried to run again.

But suddenly, I felt a new sensation rise up in my chest. I felt one of my feet resting against Victoria's side; she was shaking. I heard her quiet whimpers of fear through the growls of the Pollicles, who were now advancing again, and together, those two sensations combined to ignite a fury unlike any I had ever felt before. They had frightened my Victoria. MY Victoria! And now they were going to try and kill her! And that simply could not go unpunished.

Suddenly fearless, I stood up straight, grimaced in anger, and, facing the Pollicle right in front of me, I held out a single paw and let fly. A blast of lightning erupted from my fingertips, the tendrils curling around one another, and slammed full in his face and chest. The Pollicle made no sound, but the blast crashed into him with a crackling sound and thrashed through his body as though it were not even there. I calmly lowered my paw. Where the lead Pollicle had once stood, there was nothing but a few singed hairs and a lonely tail.

It was a gruesome sight, but I had no time to be sickened; I had more Pollicles to punish. I gritted my teeth and crouched slightly as two more Pollicles attacked. Holding out a paw to each, instead of killing them where they were, I simply threw them back against the walls of the houses on either side of me, their heads hitting the walls with sickening cracks. They crumpled to the ground as the rest of the Pollicles suddenly attacked at once. I grinned.

All at once, I was a fighting machine. Two more Pollicles fell to my lightning. One got close enough to take a swipe at me and was thrown into the street where a car was coming. I didn't watch to see what happened next. I threw another back against one of his comrades, sending both into the wall behind them. About that time, I heard Victoria gasp as she looked up and saw me engaged in mortal combat with the Pollicles. She called my name and I paused, holding a Pollicle in the air magically, long enough to look at her and point out towards the street. "Get out! Wait for me! I'll be out in a second!" She waited for a moment, unsure, and then nodded and sprinted away. I continued. I threw the suspended Pollicle down to the ground at breakneck speed, and then turned to face my last remaining opponent. He took one look around the alley at the carnage and turned, his tail between his legs, and started to run out in the direction Victoria had gone, yelping in terror. I would have let him go, except that he might have seen Victoria as he escaped, and that I could not risk. I took two steps and rolled a ball of lightning after him. It caught him in the tail as he left the alley and carried him across the asphalt into the house across the street. After one last flashing explosion, the avenue fell peaceful and silent once again.

Suddenly exhausted, I fell to my knees, shuddering from horror at the several murders I'd just committed. The realization that I had just broken one of the most important rules Deuteronomy had taught me on that day less than a week ago (though it seemed that it had been at least a year since this entire episode had begun), dawned on me, and I was overcome by a huge wave of nausea. I'd used my magical powers to kill. To kill! Sick, I staggered to one wall and fell to my knees, struggling not to vomit. It wasn't easy, but in the end, I managed to prevent myself from being violently ill. Faint and unsteady, I struggled back to my feet and slowly stumbled out of the alley and fell to the grass, completely content to simply lie down and never get up again. I had killed another living creature. I wanted to die.

Then, out of nowhere, I heard someone whisper my name and felt a gentle but urgent paw turn me over and suddenly clutch me tightly. Delirious, I simply smiled and tried to raise an arm to return the embrace, but I felt I had no strength with which to move. I suddenly realized that I could, in fact, open my eyes, though, and I did.

I will never forget what I saw that day, when I opened my eyes. It will be with me forever, a memory to treasure and cherish for all eternity. The sky was bright and beautiful and blue, with not a single cloud anywhere to be seen. A small flock of birds flew by, lazily flapping along in the light breeze. The few trees that were planted in front of the houses on either side of me waved leisurely to the birds, who exchanged silent gestures of greeting with the trees, and then turned and separated, each going their own way. The grass was invisible as I lay on my back, but I felt the gentle tickle of the soft blades threading through my fur and gracing my skin, reminding me of just how good it was to be alive.

And then, I saw her. Kneeling on my right, one arm wrapped around my shoulders and the other clasping my left paw tightly, Victoria looked down at me, rocking slightly back and forth in anxiety, tears streaming down her cheeks as she whispered my name over and over again. When she saw me open my eyes, her face lit up, and a smile of infinite gratitude spread across her mouth as she suddenly brought it down to mine, granting me the first real kiss I had ever received. I cherished every moment. It seemed that every dream I had ever had was suddenly coming true in this one gesture, molding everything I had imagined into one simple intimation. And this single action was more than I had ever dreamed of, in all my fantasies. I would not have traded it for all the wonders of the Heaviside Layer.

When it was finally over, we separated, and I simply lay for a moment, silent, staring up at her in wonderment. Her smile of gratitude slowly faded as I remained mute for more than half a minute. "What's wrong, Quaxo?"

I shook my head and whispered. "Nothing…"

"Oh…" she tilted her head. "Then why are you so quiet?"

I smiled, tears of joy finally finding their way into my eyes as I struggled up to a sitting position. "I just never realized before how perfect you are…"

Her eyes filled with tears of joy as we embraced again. "Oh, Quaxo!"


	7. Returning Home with Mr Mistoffelees

**Hey everyone, sorry about the delay in the update; I was without internet for a couple days, but now I'm back on track! For all my reviewers, and especially those dedicated few who review each chapter, thanks so much! I really appreciate the enthusiasm in the reviews. Newswise, there is another Cats fic in the works, this one starring Etcetera, so be sure not to miss it. It should start appearing within a week after this story is finished. Other than that, again, I appreciate all the positive feeback, and as a result, I will enthusiastically continue to write for you guys. :)**

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Strained with exhaustion as I was, I don't remember much of what happened after that. Victoria says that she started to help me back to the Junkyard, and apparently, Tugger and Munkustrap met her halfway and helped her get me back to my trunk. There, they all stood vigil over me one at a time, Victoria voluntarily taking more shifts than either of the other two, until I awoke, two days later. 

Victoria was in fact the first cat I saw when I woke up that day, but to my despair, the second cat was Old Deuteronomy, and I knew exactly what he was there for. I sat up and started sputtering, trying to explain myself to him, but to my surprise, he simply waved a paw and shook his head, a small smile on his face. "I've already heard all about what you did out there. I am disappointed that you disregarded one of the most important guidelines I laid down for you. I specifically made you promise never to use your magic to kill or destroy." He frowned slightly.

I nodded quickly and started to explain. "But father, I-"

He cut me off. "I know. I know why you did it. And how. And while I am disappointed in you, I am also very proud of you." He smiled broadly. "Regardless of how much evil you think you did, the good you accomplished far outweighs the bad." He glanced for a second at Victoria, who was smiling down at me and clutching my paw tightly. "More than either of you knows…thank you, Quaxo. You have saved the Jellicles. But don't worry about that now. Just know that you're safe, and that we are all very proud of you for what you've done. Now, I'll just leave you two alone…since I'm sure you want to be…"

* * *

A short time later, I heard that the Jellicle Ball was to take place in a couple of weeks. Everyone was preparing fervently for it, since it was the occasion on which Old Deuteronomy was going to choose a cat who would be the next Jellicle to go to the Heaviside Layer, and come back to a different Jellicle life. It was a tantalizing prospect for almost all the Jellicles. 

I, of course, could not honestly have cared less. I spent my days walking around the city with Victoria, sometimes walking down the busy streets and talking and laughing, sometimes taking a few days to walk all the way to the city's edge so that we could spend a day or so in the wilderness, doing…well, doing what very close friends do. We never mated, although we discussed the possibility multiple times, and we always came to the conclusion that though we wanted to, we were both still waiting for something. Something intangible.

About a week before the Ball, Munkustrap came up to Victoria and me and told us that we had been chosen to open the Ball. Naturally, we were surprised; both of us were more or less outcasts among the Jellicles. But when I asked Munkustrap about it, he just shrugged and replied, "We don't choose. Old Deuteronomy does."

So we spent the next few days practicing for our opening dance. Munkustrap would occasionally poke a head in to check on us, and more than once, he found us not practicing, and he would sigh exasperatedly, trudge over, separate us and get us back on track. Even with our voluntary intermissions, though, we were ready in a couple of days, and we both decided to add a little something of each of our own design to the show.

Victoria's eyes flashed excitedly as she rubbed her paws together in anticipation of the coming festivities. "Ooh…do you think Munkustrap would let me do a little solo dancing? I love to dance!"

I nodded, a grin on my face, as I wiggled my fingers eagerly, tiny lightning bolts jumping from fingertip to fingertip. "Yeah! And I could put on a magic show…" I trailed off as Victoria started shaking her head. "What? Why not?"

"They don't know you're magical, Quaxo. You can't just come out with something like that, especially after you lied to them."

She was right, of course, but I'd gotten the idea so solidly into my head that now I was devastated to realize I couldn't do it. Victoria seemed to sense my despair, and she sat down on a nearby dresser to think about a possible solution. I did likewise, sitting on a discarded couch cushion across from her.

We sat like that for a few minutes, each of us coming up with a few unlikely solutions and immediately discarding them. Suddenly, Victoria sat up straight and looked at me with a smile. "I've got it!"

I stood up, excited. "What?"

She grinned evilly, which was an expression I'd never seen on her before. "Quaxo isn't magical…but Mr. Mistoffelees is!" She laughed softly and clapped her paws together.

I raised an eyebrow at her. Perhaps she'd gotten into some catnip… "Who's Mr. Mistoffelees?"

She came over to me and put a finger in the center of my chest. "You are."

I raised the other eyebrow this time, still not really understanding. "I am?" She nodded, still smiling. I thought for a minute, and then it suddenly dawned on me. "I _am_, aren't I?" I grinned and took her paws. "You're a genius! An alter ego! That's just crazy enough to work! Thanks, Vicky…" We hugged, and I got to working on my magic as she practiced a few simple dancing moves and watched.

I thought about the plan as I worked. The more I thought, the more I liked it, and the more eager I was for the Ball. _Mr. Mistoffelees…yeah, Mr. Mistoffelees, the original conjuring cat…_

_

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_  
Of course, before I could really use the alter ego, I had to make sure that it worked, which meant I had to go see if someone who knew me better than anyone could tell that Mr. Mistoffelees was actually Quaxo. And I knew just the cat. 

Luckily, although he wasn't in his pipe, I still knew exactly where to find him. I slid up next to him and immediately initiated the loose conversation that we always used to ease ourselves into more serious or important subjects. Naturally, with Tugger, most of the time, he and his adventures with various queens was that subject. And today was no exception.

Eventually, during a tense pause, I stood up and said, "I've got a surprise for the Jellicle Ball - it's my first one after all…and I wanted you to be the first to see it." Not waiting for his response, I closed my eyes, turned around once and said, "Presto!"

I didn't see anything special, save for a flash of light, but reading Tugger's surprised expression was enough to prove that I'd done it. He also muttered 'Oh,' or something like that. I grinned at him. "I call it Mr. Mistoffelees. It'll be my alter ego for the ball. I can't do my magic tricks as Quaxo, obviously. But I really wanted to show the other cats something spectacular, so Vicky suggested I use an alter ego, so they won't know it's me. Pretty cool, huh?"

He sat silent for a moment or so, and then shook himself awake and nodded. "Uh, oh, yeah! Very cool. What did you say you called him?"

"Mr. Mistoffelees."

Tugger raised an eyebrow. "Mr. Mistoffelees? Where'd you come up with a name like that?"

I laughed softly. "Vicky's idea. She came up with the plan to use an alter ego, so naturally, I had to let her name him." I shrugged. "Besides, it's not that bad…is it?"

He laughed, but didn't actually answer. "So, are you going to be performing anything special?"

Originally, I'd only planned on coming in to show him my look-alike, but since he'd asked… "Actually, I could use your help there. See, I've got a lot of tricks, but I don't want to overwhelm them on my first show, you know? I was kinda hoping you'd help me decide which ones I should use."

He smiled and nodded. "Sure thing, Quax, let's see what you've got. Or should I say Mr. Mistoffelees?" He laughed.

I grinned and began.


	8. The Ball Begins

When the night of the actual ball finally came around, I realized that I was considerably more nervous than I'd expected to be. And it wasn't just because I was going to be opening the ball with Victoria, or that I planned on appearing as another cat and was desperately hoping that no one besides Tugger and Victoria would know it was actually Quaxo behind the Mr. Mistoffelees guise. It was something ethereal, something…elusive. Something strange was in the air tonight, something that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up and gave me butterflies in my stomach. Sitting in my designated spot in the junk around the amphitheater, I racked my brain, trying to make sense of the supernatural thoughts and feelings I was picking up. Eventually, I tracked my thoughts down to Cassie and Deuteronomy, and what they'd each said to me. What was it? Oh yeah…Cassie had said, "She is more important than you know...she alone can change the future, and if she is slain, then the Jellicles will be destroyed," and Deuteronomy, "You have saved the Jellicles."

I shuddered. The thought of the Jellicles being lost at all was chilling, and a shock. I hadn't even known they were in danger of being lost. But apparently, somehow, I had saved them. And Victoria…why was she so important? Except for myself, no other cat really seemed to care too much about her. It was a conundrum.

But before I could begin to try to sort it out, Demeter and Munkustrap suddenly appeared from different sides of the amphitheater, and the Jellicle Ball had officially begun. After the first traditional song was over, Victoria made her way out into center stage and began to dance. It was a slow and graceful ballet, with liquid movements and perfect execution. Watching Victoria, I almost lost myself in it, and nearly missed my cue to join her. Scrambling, I left my spot and ran over to her, and as she stood up, I spoke the words that had become a part of legend. "_Jellicle Cats, come out tonight, Jellicle Cats, come one, come all, The Jellicle Moon is shining bright, Jellicles come to the Jellicle Ball!_"i

At those words, suddenly, I wasn't an outsider anymore. I felt a change wash through me. At those few magical words, I felt all the differences between me and all the other cats in the Junkyard that night melt away, all the grudges I'd held against them for so long, even those I'd never admitted to myself – a grudge against Tugger for attracting all the young queens, even Victoria, a grudge against Munkustrap for commanding such respect and admiration from every cat around him – disappearing entirely into the dark realm of my past. I was no longer Quaxo, the Queer, but rather, Quaxo, the Jellicle. One quick glance at Victoria's dazed face told me that she had felt a similar change. For no reason other than that, I smiled and fell back to let Munkustrap explain the Ball to all of us who had never been to one before.

From that point on, the rest of the Ball went much as it was planned, although I managed to make a royal fool of myself once or twice. Also, something that was clearly unplanned occurred, more than once. An old, worn-out queen named Grizabella made random disruptive appearances. Having never seen her before, I was wholly eager to embrace her as a Jellicle, but before I could, suddenly, older Jellicles around me began to sneer and hiss at her. Tugger himself turned up his nose at her, and Bombalurina even went up and hissed in her face. Then, Alonzo moved as if to make peace, offering his paw for her to touch. But as she reached out for him, he suddenly struck her paw with extended claws, and took off as she clutched her injured paw to her body, hissing in pain.

I, of course, was perfectly confused. The change that had overcome me before was non-discriminatory, and I was ready to include this queen as one of us. But all the older cats around me were rejecting her. This contradiction caused such a discord in my mind that I had to stagger over to the bumper of a nearby car and sit on it to gather my thoughts again. A few of the younger queens, like Victoria and Etcetera, reached out to her, went up to her, as willing as ever to accept her, despite the actions of the cats around them. But even as they reached out to her, they were stopped, caught, or pulled away by older cats. Grizabella remained untouched, and when she finally left, heartbroken, the Ball continued.

Most of the rest of the ball was unremarkable, save for the basic fact that it was all new and fascinating to me. Two particular events stand out in my mind, though, even to today. The first began with Victoria getting caught up in the energy of the night and breaking away from the rest of us to dance alone again. As she did so, the night air slowly began to cool and settle around us, and each cat began to match up with a cat of the opposite sex and settle to the ground with them. After a few moments, it clicked in my mind what the tribe was planning on doing, and I immediately turned to Victoria, to be with her. But to my astonishment, she was not looking back at me. She was instead getting increasingly intimate with Plato!

My mouth fell open for a moment as I tried to make sense of the impossible situation in front of me. Plato? Victoria? Together? Victoria! My Victoria! When I finally came to my senses and closed my mouth, I was crestfallen. How could she do this to me? How could she? After all we'd been through together, all I had thought we meant to each other, for naught! My eyes burning with unshed tears, I turned away and quickly searched for an unoccupied queen. Even if Victoria wasn't the type to resort to vengeance, _I_ was. I found Electra unaccompanied, and immediately reached out to her. She gratefully took my paw and joined me, and as we lay down together, I sneered inwardly. This would teach Victoria for throwing away all that we had had at the glance of a handsome and brazen young tom who had until then ignored her just as everyone else had. This would teach her for taking my heart, already fragile and fearful, pretending that it was important to her, and then crushing it in the grip of a sudden passion!

But even so, as I lay with Electra, I simply could not keep the tears from making their way to the corners of my eyes, although I managed to keep them from falling anywhere visible, though I suspected that Electra probably would not have noticed, might not have even cared. When it was all over, I was extremely grateful for the sudden interruption of the festivities by yet another appearance by the only outcast of the tribe. She didn't get far this time; she appeared at the top of a mountain of refuse and Alonzo ran up and scared her off again. And just as before, once she was gone, we continued the Ball as though nothing unusual had occurred.

* * *

Another interesting thing that happened and effectively changed my entire view of life and what it means to be happy came about when Jellylorum led a very elderly tom out of the junk to perch on an overturned paint can. Though I had no idea who he was, he seemed to radiate a sense of calm and serenity about him that pervaded the entire area of the amphitheater. All was suddenly right with the world again, and I even found myself unable to continue fueling the excruciating hatred that had only just been ignited by Victoria's betrayal, and the burning fury slowly ebbed away until it left simply a sorrowful ache deep in my heart that would never be healed.

After a few moments, Deuteronomy found himself a perch upon an old tire and began to sing a quiet song about happiness and life. It was confusing and mystic, a terrible and wonderful puzzle that defied comprehension.

"_The moments of happiness . . .  
We had the experience but missed the meaning  
And approach to the meaning restores the experience  
In a different form, beyond any meaning  
We can assign to happiness . . ."_ ii

Though my ears heard clearly every word he sang, my mind simply could not make them all fit together in a way that would put any meaning to the befuddling poetry. Frustrated, I gritted my teeth as I struggled to make sense of it all. I felt the allusions of significance and comfort soothing my angry heart, but this only served to worsen the hopelessness of my mind. I felt almost ready to cry.

But suddenly, I was surprised to see Jemima slowly stand up, gently resting her paw on Tantomile's, who had her own paw gently grasping Coricopat's, who was lying almost prostrate on the ground. As she stood, her face a picture of subconscious understanding, every cat's ears pricked towards her, though no one actually turned to face her as she began to sing herself, uttering lyrics that made infinitely more sense than Deuteronomy's had.

"_Moonlight, turn your face to the moonlight  
Let your memory lead you  
Open up, enter in  
If you find there the meaning of what happiness is  
Then a new life will begin…"__iii_

And suddenly, with those few lines, the entire song suddenly made sense. The happiness…the happiness we experienced, was sometimes so fleeting that we managed to miss the meaning, the significance. And if we couldn't recognize what it meant to be happy, then what purpose had there been to our life? We couldn't possibly die if we couldn't honestly say we knew that we knew what happiness was. That was the only way you could get to the Heaviside Layer, and that was exactly what the cat seated on the paint can was here to prove.

We listened to his story – his name was Gus, the Theatre Cat, a retired actor of great renown – and what could we do but simply agree that if any cat had experienced the sort of happiness that would admit him into the Heaviside Layer, Gus was that cat. As he slowly shuffled away, my heart was once again changed by the experiences of that night.

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i "Jellicle Songs for Jellicle Cats" ©Andrew Lloyd Webber

ii "The Moments of Happiness" ©Andrew Lloyd Webber

iii ibid.


	9. Revelatory Relief

**There may be a short break in updates following this chapter for two reasons. First, I am going to a friend's house this weekend and may have a hard time getting to a computer to upload. Second, and more tragic, I have recently discovered that my computer's hard disk is on its last legs. A new drive is soon to be purchased and installed, but until that happens, updates will probably be sporadic at best. Thanks for your patience. :)**

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With that, Old Deuteronomy took the pause to introduce Skimbleshanks, the railway cat. This, I understood, was proof enough that the ball was inconceivably important: Skimbleshanks never left his post on the train for anything less than a life-changing event. 

But the honor of his visit was swiftly lost as a sudden crash and a scream of fright announced the arrival of none other than my supposed biological father, Macavity. As his hideous form appeared, I shrank back away from him, painful memories suddenly flooding my mind as that voice, that presence ignited fear and hatred that I had never even realized were there. I fell to the ground, covering my ears with my paws, desperately trying to block out the horrid laughter that seemed to mock my fear.

Unable to stand it any longer, I stumbled to the edge of the amphitheater and took off running into the junkyard. I ran without direction, much as I had the first time I saw Victoria in the amphitheater. The similarity was not lost on me, and as I ran, the tears borne of old sorrows began to flow freely once again. With those tears obstructing my vision, I tripped over a curtain rod sticking out of a pile of trash and tumbled down a mountain of refuse, ending up lying supine in front of my trunk.

Ecstatic to have found a suitable hiding place, I immediately crawled into it and finally just let everything go. Loud sobs wracked my chest, the cold night air burning my throat as tears of fear, anger, sorrow, despair, and confusion followed the same paths down my cheeks that had seen so many of their ilk in my short life. For a while, I just sat in my trunk and cried, and when I found I had no tears left to shed, I slowly lapsed into silence, tacitly cursing the world.

As I sat there, brooding, my ears were once again pricked by the sound of someone traipsing through my living space. However, this time, I did not leap out of my trunk to face them. At this point, I could not have cared one iota less who was in my nook; I just wanted the entire world to burn in hell.

But even I could not retain such an attitude as a face I had not seen up close in years suddenly appeared at the other end of the trunk.

"Oy! 'Owzit, Quax?"

Surprise meandered over my face. "Mungojerrie?"

"Th' one an' only." Grinning his trademark smirk, he hopped over the edge of the trunk and fell to a sitting position across from me. "'Ow are ye?"

For a moment, I was about to tell him, but then I remembered just how I actually was and lapsed into a dismal silence, shaking my head at him.

Mungo caught the meaning, but pressed the issue anyway. "A bit scared, eh? Boy, can I understand that! That Macavity, 'e's a mean 'un, an' no mistake." He grinned and leaned forward, poking my knee to prompt a response. I raised my eyes far enough to shoot him a sullen look, then stared at my feet again.

Finally, Mungojerrie, the infamous male half of the terrible twosome, did something I had never seen him do, except maybe to Rumpleteazer; he stretched across the way and enveloped my shoulders in a brotherly hug. At first, I was too shocked to do anything but stare dumbly at him. He smiled, a rare and genuine smile. "I know me 'n' Rumple aren' always th' easiest cats ter find an' talk to, but ye'll always be part of our li'l family. Yer our Quaxo, an' don' you think fer a second that we've fergotten ye, alright"

And with that short, simple speech, Mungojerrie showed me a flash of the kitten he'd once been, and that memory, added to all the other ones competing for my emotions, was enough to start the tears all over again, except this time, I had someone to cry to.

Burying my face into Mungo's proffered shoulder, I sobbed the whole story to him, starting with Alonzo and Pouncival's oil trick, then telling him about the pressures of being magical and being forced to hide it, then how I'd met Victoria and had immediately fallen in love with her, then how I'd foolishly turned a small misunderstanding into a near-fatal experience, how I now had to live with the blood of nine Pollicles on my paws, how I'd thought Victoria and I had been on the way to a happy and perfect life together, only to realize that all that was lost in an instant at the paws of a cat who meant nothing to her, and finally finishing with how Macavity had, in an instant, ruined my one chance for admiration, appreciation, and respect. Finally getting everything off my chest and onto someone else's, I sat back and wiped my eyes, sniffing occasionally.

Mungo was silent for a moment, then suddenly smiled. "Well, you 'ave been busy since we last talked, 'aven't ye"

I chuckled halfheartedly, rubbing one eye and nodding. "I just feel...I don't know...like I just don't belong here, with the Jellicles." I sighed heavily and muttered, "I don't belong anywhere."

Mungo sighed and shook his head. "Now ye know that's not true. Yer a Jellicle, just like the rest of us. An' don't go tryin' to tell me that I'm wrong, because I know what I'm talkin' 'bout. Lissen, when we were all brought out here to the junkyard when we were just little kittens, we became Jellicles. We weren't old enough to decide for ourselves whether we wanted to be or not, so Munkustrap decided for us, and so it was. And that's that, Quax. Ye can't change who ye are, and ye can' erase yer past. You got it?" To make sure he got his point across, he reached over and chucked me under the chin, so I was looking into his eyes. "You belong with us, and you can never forget that, Quaxo. Nev'r."

It was a little odd, hearing such philosophical and profound words coming from a joker like Mungojerrie, but mysteriously enough, it all made sense, and worked wonders to allay my fears and soothe my aching spirit. But there was one area that it didn't touch. "But Victoria…what about her? What do you think…I mean…is it over? Should I confront her? I mean…I did hook up with Electra…but she went to Plato first!" Tears returned to my eyes as the memory roared back, complete with images and cruel sound effects added by my wounded imagination.

Mungo thought for a moment, but finally a look of understanding appeared on his face and he smiled. "Ah, Plato, eh? Ok, I can see what 'appened 'ere. A couple 'r so weeks ago, Plato foun' 'is way 'ere to th' Junkyard. Sort of like th' way Vicky foun' 'er way to it when she did. Now, neither one 'f 'em is a Jellicle yet, 'r they weren't at the beginning of the Ball. See, if ye fin' yer way to the Junkyard, or someone brings you 'ere, you can't be a Jellicle until you go through a sort of ceremony, an' that ceremony takes place once a year, at the Ball. See, they weren't just hookin' up ter be romantic 'r anything. They were makin' themselves Jellicles!" It made sense, and my heart was uplifted by realization that I didn't have to do anything to my relationship with Vicky; it was just fine! Better, if possible, simply because now we were both officially Jellicles.

I thought for a moment. "So…I guess it's the same energy, that same…spirit that you can feel when I first said the invitation that chooses who you…pair up with, right?" Mungo nodded, and I followed the logical train of thought. "So that's why I wanted to go to Vicky first, but ended up with Electra because Vicky was already with Plato, right?"

Mungo grinned. "Roight. An' that's why me 'n' Rumple ended up together. It's just the spirit of th' night, ye see?"

I did, and I was very pleased to. "That's wonderful! That means that Vicky and I are okay! We can still be mates!" And suddenly, I realized that this was probably the same intangible event that Vicky and I had been waiting for. The reason that we had not yet mated, no matter how intense the desire, no matter how perfect the opportunity. But now…

I must have had a stupid expression on my face, because Mungojerrie grimaced and shook my shoulder. "Quax, you ok?"

I snapped out of my reverie and nodded. "Oh, yeah. I'm good. In fact, I'm better than good. In fact…I feel like finding Vicky right now, and telling her I love her." I turned around and started off. Then, I paused, turned back around, and smiled at Mungo. "Mungojerrie…thanks."

He smiled and waved me away before disappearing into the gloom of the night. I lingered for a moment, then smiled to myself and took off for the amphitheater to rejoin the party.


	10. The End of the Ball

When I got there, however, the entire area was pitch black, and I suddenly remembered Macavity and what he had done. I was worried about what had happened in my absence, but as I wondered, I heard the whispering of Jellicle voices all around me.

"We have to find Old Deuteronomy…"

Terror gripped my heart and I could barely breathe. Deuteronomy? Gone? No, this couldn't be! He was my father, or at least the closest thing to a father I had ever had. And now he was gone, stolen away by the same fiend who had stolen away my mother and Cassie, and had nearly killed me, my compatriots, and the two best friends I had ever had, Munkustrap and Rum Tum Tugger. Upon thinking about this, I realized that alongside the terror, there was rage, and determination. I was furious at Macavity for what he had done, and I was damned sure determined that I was going to do whatever it took to find Deuteronomy, and then to find Macavity and make him pay dearly for what he had done.

I faded back into the shadows to think about exactly how I was going to go about dealing with Macavity, and how I was going to get Deuteronomy back when I heard Tugger's voice ringing out over the amphitheater. "You want to ask the Magical Mister Mistoffelees, the original conjuring cat." And as everyone in the theater turned away, shaking their heads at his foolishness for even mentioning a 'magical' cat, he sat up and reiterated his point, more forcefully than before. "Please, listen to me, and don't scoff." He went on to explain exactly what the Magical Mister Mistoffelees could do, and I realized suddenly that he thought that the Mister Mistoffelees could get Deuteronomy back. I was not at all sure that this was possible, but if Tugger thought I could do it, then I was sure going to try.

Sliding around to a good spot, I found a piece of rope and prepared to make my entrance, remembering at almost the last second to turn myself into Mister Mistoffelees before doing so. Finally, at Tugger's desperate introduction, I magicked myself to the air above the amphitheater and lowered myself into the area. After I burned the rope into nothingness, I performed my first trick of the night, restoring all the lights to the amphitheater with a blinding flash and a "Presto!" The gasps and cries of surprise and delight around me were enough to convince me that I could do just about anything if I wanted to.

With that in mind, I grinned and continued to work, showing my skills off not only in magic, but also in dancing as I bounced around the theater, drinking in all the cheers and shouts of encouragement I was attracting. As I worked, I saw Victoria's beautiful white face in the crowd and smiled at her with a wink, and I thought that I saw her smile back as well. I suddenly felt my magic powers ignite again and burn furiously, and I knew it was time.

Concentrating hard, I pulled a red sheet out of thin air and raised my paw for a volunteer. I did not choose the volunteer myself, but felt my powers drawing me to a certain cat, and when I looked, I was slightly surprised to see that I had chosen Cassandra, the only Siamese in the tribe. Fully willing and ready, she ducked beneath the sheet and I began to focus all my magic and all my powers on one all-consuming notion of bringing Deuteronomy back, of bringing my father back to us. The sheet began to glow and rise, the lump that had been Cassandra now growing and starting to struggle to escape. With one final wave of my paws and an almost painful surge of magical energy that left me feeling exhausted and powerless, I lifted the sheet and revealed-

Old Deuteronomy, standing up and stumbling slightly with a dazed look on his face, followed swiftly by an expression of happy surprise.

Wasted, I turned away, trying to catch my breath. The trick I had just pulled off had taken every ounce of energy I had, and I needed a moment to myself. But suddenly, I realized what I had done, and who was standing behind me, safe and sound, and I turned around and threw myself into his arms, happier than I had ever been. He didn't say anything, but I understood him perfectly. I had done it. I had used magic for the exact single purpose that it had been intended. The smile on his face was all it took.

Then, he put me down and I was suddenly surrounded by a multitude of Jellicles, all praising and thanking me for bringing back their leader, and they did not even know who I really was. Cassandra came back into the theater, as happy and grateful as any of them, and Victoria herself came running up to me and planted a kiss on my cheek hugging me tightly. I looked down at her, slightly surprised, and smiled. She looked at me for a moment, then suddenly looked down at my chest, her voice wavering slightly. "Quaxo, I…I'm so sorry…I don't know what came over me…I just, Plato was there, and I suddenly felt like I should go to him, and before I knew it, he had me on the ground, and I didn't really know what had happened, I just felt like it was right, and I had made it all right and done nothing wrong and-"

I cut her off with a kiss, right on her lips and in front of everyone. As I kissed her, I magicked my disguise away, and when we parted, I was just Quaxo again. There were assorted gasps and sounds of indignation, but at the moment, all that was important was the look on Victoria's face as she looked back up at me, her mouth open slightly in surprise. "It's okay, Vicky. I understand. Mungo explained everything and trust me, everything is absolutely wonderful." She smiled and hugged me tightly, laying her head on my chest as I looked out at everyone and spoke to them. "Well, as you can see…it's me, Quaxo. I am still a magical cat, and I'm sorry I lied to you all."

Demeter smiled and shrugged, touching my shoulder in a friendly way. "It's okay, Quaxo. I forgive you. After all," she grinned, "you did bring Deuteronomy back." Old Deuteronomy smiled and nodded, putting both his paws on my shoulders. "Yes, he did, and we should all forgive him and put this behind us. For it is not the cat on the outside that matters, but the one on the inside, and as we have all seen today, Quaxo is a wonderful Jellicle, inside and out." He smiled down at me, and every other cat around us, even Alonzo and Pouncival, nodded, and most of them smiled as well, offering accepting paws to me. I touched them all, and with Victoria clutching me tightly around my waist, Deuteronomy's paws on my shoulders, Munkustrap's silent smile of approval, and Tugger poking me in the small of my back, I finally felt like I truly belonged.

* * *

When things finally settled back down again, Jemima had disappeared, and when we saw her again, she was up on top of a tall pile of garbage, singing basically the same song she had sung earlier, speaking of moonlight and sunflowers and memories, and when she had finished, Deuteronomy had seated himself on the edge of the theater, and Munkustrap was in the middle again, explaining what was about to happen. 

"Now, Old Deuteronomy, just before dawn, through a silence you feel you could cut with a knife, announces the cat that can now be reborn, and come back to a different Jellicle life."

This was it, the moment we'd all been waiting for. Deuteronomy was about to tell us who was going to be leaving us and going to the Heaviside Layer to start life over again. I was convinced, as I was sure most everyone else was also, that Asparagus, Jellylorum's father, was going to be the one, and we all waited anxiously for Deuteronomy to confirm our hopes. But Deuteronomy said nothing for a number of seconds, simply sitting, silent and troubled-looking, for a long time.

Suddenly, my magical senses pricked, and I turned to see Grizabella venturing out into the theater. Mad at her for interrupting the ceremony, I sneered at her and went to the edge of the theater, facing the wall of garbage and ignoring her. Tugger went up to her and derisively waved her over to Deuteronomy, as if daring her to put in her bid for the trip to the Heaviside Layer. As if Deuteronomy would even consider her as a candidate for resurrection, with all she had done. Or at least, all I supposed she must have done, anyway, to have earned a status so poor that the entire tribe rejected her every time she appeared. Victoria still attempted to reach out to her, but was again thrown aside by a 'protective' female.

Again abandoned and shunned, instead of quietly leaving as she had so many times before, Grizabella stood her ground, singing with a desperate passion. She sang of her past, and of her present, how she spent every night remembering how it had once been, and how much she loved and hated her memories, how she wished for it all to be the way it was again. Her words were profound and stirring, and once again, Jemima stood to sing, this time, joining her voice with Grizabella's as the old, shabby, worn-out female sang with all her might, pleading, begging with us just to touch her, to accept her again, and she promised, swore that she would be happy again. And as the story of her life and her struggles and her hopes, dreams, and above all, her memories, washed over me, I could no longer hide my sympathy for her, and I turned around to see that every other cat, even those who had shunned her since the first time she had appeared, had also turned to face her, pain and understanding radiating from every face in the theater. And as Grizabella began her customary walk back across the theater to leave us behind in our cruelty, I could sense all around me the desire to run out and touch her, to allow her to feel the happiness that she missed so very much. But no one had the confidence or the courage to go out and do it.

No one, that is, except for one small, young, white kitten named Victoria. To everyone's surprise, including, I think, her own, Victoria broke away from the rest of the tribe and tentatively stepped forward, pausing only once to glance back at Deuteronomy, who smiled and waved her on, and she reached out and gently rested her paw in Grizabella's.

It was as if someone had flipped on a switch. Suddenly, the entire amphitheater was alive with movement as cats came slinking out of their hiding spots to join Grizabella and Victoria in the center of the area. The look on Grizabella's face alone was enough to convince me that Victoria had done the right thing. She was no longer the wounded, downtrodden, shade of a former star she had been when I had first seen her, but instead had undergone a full transformation. She was smiling, which I had never seen her do before, and her head was held high as Victoria rubbed her cheek against Grizabella's paw affectionately. And now all the other cats were starting to collect around them, each taking her paws in turn and holding them close or simply touching them. I went forward and joined the circle around her, offering my own paws to take hers, smiling warmly at her before passing them on to the next cat in line. By this time, I had noticed the Tugger standing in the background with Cassandra, a decidedly conflicted look on his face. I was a little confused about this, considering I expected everyone to be ecstatic, because clearly we'd just found our candidate for the Heaviside Layer, but before I could even make a move to go ask him what was wrong, he had disappeared again, and Old Deuteronomy had taken Grizabella's paws and was leading her towards the back of the amphitheater, where a large tire was lying on its side.

As soon as the two cats climbed up on it, it shuddered heavily and slowly started to rise off the ground, a carpet of steam pouring out from underneath it as it floated elegantly upwards. This, of course, was an incredible sight for those of us who had never attended a Jellicle Ball before; Victoria and I clutched each other and watched incredulously as a large thunderhead suddenly collected above the amphitheater, and with lightning and thunder ravaging the night air, a long tendril of clouds slowly descended to the tire, forming an impromptu staircase. She tentatively stepped onto the stairway, and with only one small look back at Deuteronomy, who smiled reassuringly back, Grizabella finally took the last leg of a journey she had been aching to complete for years. When she had finally disappeared into the clouds, we sang one last line,

_"The mystical Divinity of unashamed felinity,_

_'Round the cathedral rang, 'Vivat!'_

_Life to the everlasting cat…"__i_

And the ball was over.

i "Journey to the Heaviside Layer" ©Andrew Lloyd Webber


	11. Fini

"Alright, Vicky, I give up!" I dropped my paws to my sides with an exasperated sigh. Once again, I was searching for my mate, and, as usual, succeeding very poorly. Even so, I smiled. Ever since the ball, the entire universe seemed to have done a swift one-eighty: Munkustrap had been chosen to be promoted from historian to protector, almost replacing Old Deuteronomy, whose duties were now limited to offering wise counsel and mediating the Jellicle Ball every year. Skimbleshanks himself had been selected to take on the duties of historian, since all that was required of the position was to be present at every ball and keep track of all proceedings therein. Rum Tum Tugger had found a mate, one that he liked enough to remain completely faithful to, and few cats were surprised to find out that it was Bombalurina. Alonzo and Pouncival had teased me only a few more times, the first time reprimanded and scolded by Jellylorum, who had a tongue like a razor when she was mad, the second time by all the younger queens, who had finally taken the plunge into maturity over the same night that Victoria and Plato had become Jellicles, and the last by Munkustrap himself, who swore that he would remove both their stripes if they ever came near me again. It was a huge and sweet victory for me, and it only added to the happiness that had defined my life since the ball.

Along the same trend of bliss, things between Victoria and I had been so much smoother that I had a hard time even remembering what it felt like to distrust her. We were together all the time; we took long, contemplative walks all over the junkyard and all over the city; we talked for hours on end, often spending entire nights sitting under the stars discussing anything that came to mind. We slept together, and yes, I admit, we mated quite frequently. Altogether, life was on the way towards sheer perfection, and very quickly so.

I sat down on the ruins of a space heater and thought for a moment about where Victoria might have gotten to. Just recently, she had taken to disappearing any time I turned my attention away for half a second, and forcing me to search for her. Not necessarily that I minded the search, or the capture, either, since usually, I found her hiding in an extremely secluded section of the junkyard, and things progressed from there. Today, however, I had looked in all her favorite hiding spots and hadn't located her yet. Suddenly, I wondered whether she would have the sheer audacity to hide in my trunk. It was possible; she hadn't ever done it before, but then, there was a first time for everything.

Excited, I leapt off my perch and started jogging in the direction of my nook. When I got there, however, I skidded to a sudden halt at the sight of Victoria, in my trunk, conversing with Old Deuteronomy, standing beside it. I was a little anxious at this unexpected visit, since Deuteronomy never casually visited anyone except Munkustrap, and occasionally Tugger, now. Nonetheless, I tried to look confident and nonchalant as I sauntered into the clearing and over to Victoria, planting a small kiss on her cheek. "Hey, Vick. Found you." She giggled and I turned to Deuteronomy, trying to look happy to see him. "Hello, father, how are you today?"

"Oh, as good as can be expected, when you get to be my age." He grinned and offered his arms for a hug, which I chuckled and returned. When we separated, he held me at arm's length and looked me over. "My goodness, you have certainly grown up a great deal, and just since the ball, too!" He laughed and clapped me on the back. "Victoria here was just telling me about how the two of you have decided to become mates. That's great! You two are a perfect match for each other."

I chuckled softly. "Thanks. You know, I know I made the right decision, but I'm not so sure Vicky did. My decision was so easy, it was pretty much made for me, but she could've had any cat she wanted, and for some reason, she chose this hot-headed, stubborn little idiot." I grinned and shrugged. "And I know for a fact there are better cats out there than me, like, say…Plato?" I grinned at her again.

She smirked and threw the remains of a cross-stitched pillow at me. "Oh, hah. You think you're funny, don't you? Well, let me assure you that no matter how much cooler, more pliable, or smarter those other cats are, they'll never be anything close to you, Quax, or should I say, my Magical Mr. Mistoffelees?" She giggled and draped an arm around my shoulders, purring quietly. I rested my head on hers and purred with her for a moment before opening my eyes again and looking up at Deuteronomy.

"As much as I enjoy your visits, father, I can't help feeling like you had a purpose coming here."

Old Deuteronomy nodded. "Yes, Quaxo, I did. I had two purposes, and one has been fulfilled already," he nodded and smiled a little at Victoria, who smiled back. "As for the other, I need to speak to you alone for a few minutes."

A little apprehensive, I allowed him to put an arm around my shoulders and gently guide me to my trunk as Victoria took the hint and excused herself to go do whatever she did when I wasn't around. I pushed myself up to sit on the edge of the trunk while Deuteronomy regained his dignified posture on a nearby tire.

Before I had a chance to ask him what he wanted to tell me, he started with a small sigh. "As you probably know, Quaxo, I have magical powers like you. They aren't as powerful, never really were, but even though they have tapered a bit in my old age, I have still managed to keep them relatively keen. Now, recently, I have been getting the tingling sense that perhaps you are not as content as you portray yourself to be, and before you interrupt and try and deny it," he looked at me with a knowing glance, and I was forced to lower my paw and bite off the denial that was on my lips, "I don't mean as far as your life and your relationship with Tugger, Munkustrap, or Victoria. I mean that subconsciously, something is tugging at your mind, and after much deliberation, I've decided that it's probably best that I assuage that irritation by feeding your hungry mind the information it desires."

Here he paused, and I knew better than to try and rush him, since that was more likely to delay him further than it was to incite him to respond any more quickly. Besides, he was right. Something was nudging the back of my mind, had been since the ball, and even though I had managed to ignore it until now, Deuteronomy's mention of it brought the mental itch back. This time, though, it didn't bother me nearly as much. After all, Deuteronomy had just said he knew what it was, and that he was going to get rid of it, even though I wasn't even sure what it was about, myself.

After a half a minute or so, he finally took a deep breath and continued. "One of my personal powers is the faint ability to see into the future. It's not spectacular by any means, but it does come in handy sometimes. A few months ago, I started to get the tingling sensation that usually precedes a premonition or vision that is going to change the course of history. I have gotten this sensation very few times, once before Munkustrap was born, once before Tugger was born, and once before you came to live with us. Yes, Quaxo, I knew to some small degree that you were going to be a Jellicle someday, and I must say that of those three sensations, that was the one I was happiest to receive. However, a few months ago, I got a terrible feeling that we as a tribe were on the verge of a devastating catastrophe. I admit that I panicked a bit then; I had never had such an incredible sense of impending doom. Desperately, I rounded up all the highly magical cats I could contact and explained the situation to them, hoping that one of them could see or sense further than I and could give me some idea of what we could do to prevent this cataclysm."

"Almost every other cat could see as far as I could, but none could see further, at least not yet. They all suggested I wait a little longer: maybe it would become clearer as time went on. But I couldn't wait. Not with the ruin of that which I loved so dearly looming on the horizon! So, I broadened my search, delving deep into each tribe's population, hunting down every single cat with even a hint of magic in their blood, and each time, I came up empty-pawed, again, until finally, I ran across two cats whose future sight was far more developed than my own. Their names, as you might well have already guessed, were Coricopat and Tantomile."

"Now Coricopat and Tantomile had had their powers for many years, but had never told anyone about them, for fear that they might fall under the same type of persecution that I wanted to protect you from. Naturally, you see, such things don't always happen, but in their case, Coricopat and Tantomile already had enough troubles, being twins and rather queer as they are, so they were a little apprehensive about revealing their secret to anyone, even me. But when they saw how distressed I was, they finally decided that it was worth the risk, and they told me that they could see the disaster I spoke of, and they could see beyond it, as well. I was a little surprised, but I invited them back to my little alcove and asked them to explain what they saw."

"They told me that they had had visions of a dark cloud looming over the junkyard, with all the cats in the amphitheater, dancing, celebrating, heedless of the dark shadow above them. Then, an old, bent over cat had entered the theater, and all the other cats had scattered in disgust from it, for it wore a horribly ugly mask. This masked cat had circled the theater three times, and each time, the cloud grew darker, and finally, when the cat left the theater, the cloud descended upon the amphitheater and engulfed the Jellicles."

"I was stunned to hear their account, because it was so detailed and explanatory, and I asked them if they knew who the masked cat was, but unfortunately, they did not. So I thanked them, told them to contact me if they had any more such visions, and sent them back to the junkyard. After they left, I sat and thought about their vision for a long time, trying to understand who the masked cat could be. The first cat who came to mind was Gus, for being an actor, he frequently wears masks, often extremely ugly ones, but it did not seem to fit with the other cats' reaction. Every cat loved Gus, and even in a mask, they would never flee from him. Then I tried to apply the cat's age, and came up with one other cat who would be of such an age as the masked cat, and that cat was Grizabella."

Here he paused, and I squirmed a little on my perch; out of respect, I was not about to interrupt him or try to urge him forward in his story, but I had been so captivated by his words that his momentary pause only served to pull me back into the junkyard where I realized with impatience that this story, while interesting, was doing nothing to ease my agitation. Nonetheless, I knew that Old Deuteronomy had a reason for everything he said and did, and was therefore content to sit and wait, hoping he would get to the point soon.

After a few deep breaths, he sighed and continued. "In order for you to really understand the next part of my story, you must know of my past and of Grizabella's past with me. You see, when I was younger than I am now, and before Munkustrap or Rum Tum Tugger were even born, I had a mate named Cassie. She was a beautiful-"

"Grey and white queen…" I finished for him. He looked at me, surprised. I smiled a bit and shrugged. "I remember her. She was there when Mungo, Rumple and I were all saved from the Pollicles and brought here. She was…she was the reason we survived…" A lump rose in my throat and I looked at the ground, fighting back tears.

Deuteronomy was silent for a moment, and then continued quietly. "Well, Quaxo, she was my mate, and Munkustrap's biological mother. She was also Tugger's adopted mother. See, at about the same time that Munkustrap was conceived, I had been having an affair with Grizabella. At the time, she was beautiful and exotic and famous, and I thought that that was what I wanted in a female. It turned out that she was also devious, selfish, and narcissistic. In any event, however, at the same time Munkustrap was born, Grizabella came to me and revealed that she too was pregnant, and shortly thereafter gave birth to a male kitten, whom she left with me, saying he was my responsibility, since she was far too famous and busy to be bothered with such things. She then left to seek her fortune, and left me with a male kitten and no way to explain where he had come from except the truth."

"I went to Cassie with him, and though she was hurt and angry with me, she agreed to take him under her wing as her adopted kitten. I suggested we name him Rum Tum Tugger, since that was what Grizabella had wanted him to be named, and she grudgingly agreed. She never really forgave me for that, but we did reconcile before she died, so that we were not separated on incensed terms."

I couldn't hold my tongue any longer. "That's all wonderful and interesting, father, but what could it possibly have to do with anything I want to know? I don't know exactly what it is that is bothering me, but I do know that so far, nothing you have said has really alleviated it. If anything, you've made it worse." I hadn't intended to sound so irate, but Deuteronomy had a habit of beating around the bush for a ridiculous length of time before getting to whatever point he was trying to make.

If he was offended, though, he made no indication of it. "Alright, Quaxo, I understand. No need to get riled. Anyway, a few nights after Coricopat and Tantomile's visit, I had a vivid and moving dream, more of a revelation than anything. I was sitting in the theater, watching the Jellicle Ball commence, and as Coricopat and Tantomile had mentioned, the dark cloud was still there, but it was no ordinary cloud. It was not made out of water, but of feelings. I could sense those feelings, anger, hate, resentment, roiling and hovering, threatening to settle on the amphitheater. Worried though I was, I knew there was nothing I could do to stop it, and instead, I began looking around the theater for someone who could. Suddenly, the masked cat stepped into the theater, and just as in Coricopat and Tantomile's dream, he circled the theater three times, wearing the most hideous mask I had ever seen, and each time bringing the cloud lower over the Ball. The third time, as he began to leave, I was terrified to realize that the cloud was coming down to engulf us all, and I desperately searched for some way to prevent it, but was devastated to realize that there was nothing I could do. Suddenly, another cat, a pure white female, whom I had never seen before, appeared and went to the cat, touching his paw. The old cat stopped and looked at her, and then removed his mask and revealed himself to be none other than Grizabella. As she removed the mask, the dark cloud slowly lifted away and eventually dissipated. Then the dream faded from view, and Cassie faded into my sight. She said, 'One day soon, the final test of the Jellicles' hearts will be conducted. On the night that the moon illuminates the annual terpsichorean festival, the masked cat will return, and beg forgiveness of those who once loved her. If she does not receive it, she will leave, heartbroken, and none will enter the Heaviside Layer. Seek out and protect the one who can still find it in their heart to see past the mask of assumption and reach out to her with forgiveness and love.' And then Cassie disappeared, too."

Now it all started to come together. "So…Cassie told you to find and protect the white female, then, I guess?"

He nodded. "Yes, because only one who had never heard of Grizabella, had not had time to cultivate fear or hatred for her, had no fear of repercussions for their actions could still find it in their heart to reach out to her with love and forgiveness."

"Victoria…"

He nodded again. "Yes, Victoria. Only Victoria could possibly fit the mold of one who had nothing to lose and nothing to gain by touching Grizabella and reaffirming our love for her."

"But in the theater, during the ball, when Grizabella was singing…I wanted to go touch her, I really did. I wanted to show her that we still loved her, but-"

"But you couldn't. And neither could anyone else in that theater. We were all too afraid of what might happen if we did. We were too afraid of what the other cats might think, of what they would do to us. Would they hate us? Fear us? Would they scorn us and banish us from the junkyard forever? Would we lose our precious status as Jellicle cats? Probably not, but the possibility alone was enough to convince us that it would cost us more than it would reward us to even attempt to bring her back."

"But Vicky…"

"Victoria was not a Jellicle, did not even know if she truly wanted to be one yet. Therefore, she had no reason to fear being shunned, since it wouldn't have changed her position in life very much. In truth, at the beginning of the Ball, she had undergone a transformation that already affirmed her status as a Jellicle, whether she knew it or not, and that was what allowed her simple selfless act of love to atone for all of the rest of our cruelty."

I was speechless. I knew Victoria was something special, but this went beyond just special. This made Victoria almost a savior of sorts, just as Cassie had been for me so many years ago, and had been for Victoria so recently, through me. "Wait, father, when I went to go find Victoria after she ran away from the junkyard, she was being chased by a bunch of Pollicles, and right before I went in to save her I saw Cassie standing over her. She said that Vicky was more important than I knew, and that only I could save her. Did she mean that…?"

Deuteronomy nodded. "Yes, she meant that if you didn't save her, the Jellicles would not have ever been atoned for their heartlessness to Grizabella, and would have been destroyed."

"When you say destroyed…"

"By destroyed, I mean we would have fallen into constant and pointless bickering that would eventually escalate into angry arguments and confrontations that would have ultimately end up in bitter hatred and discord that would have dissolved the Jellicle tribe and eventually led to each one of our deaths, one by one."

I shivered at the thought. "So Victoria really did save the Jellicles…"

He nodded. "And so did you, indirectly. By befriending her when she had no one else to turn to, you gave her a reason to stay. By following her after she ran away, you proved that someone cared whether or not she was there. And by standing over her and staring death in the eyes, you proved that someone loved her so much that they were willing to risk and even lose their very life for her. Yes, when Cassie said you must save her, she did mean physically, at least indirectly. But more importantly, she meant spiritually. Victoria had been on the verge of a breakdown for weeks before she met you for the first time. Your last act of sheer selflessness proved to her that life was worth living, if only because you wanted her to live it. You, Quaxo, are the real savior of the Jellicles."

That was almost too much to swallow at once. The savior of the Jellicles? I, whom they had scorned and jeered from the moment I had come to the junkyard? I, who had lied to and deceived them for so long? I, who existed through malice and subsisted by charity, was suddenly the Jellicles' redeemer? I almost laughed; it was absolutely implausible. Could I still be the same cat who had awoken not so long ago drenched in oil and wearing a veneer of feathers, for the cruel amusement of two of my bitterest enemies?

Suddenly, my whole outlook on life changed. No, it wasn't implausible at all. Why would it be? I may not have been well-liked beforehand, but then, I remembered in all the lore of cat heroes and legends, few saviors ever were. Maybe now I would end up as one of those legends, along with Victoria. Or not, considering that probably no one really knew what we'd done. Once again, I had been in the background, doing what I did behind the scenes, with little or no recognition for it. And that was fine by me. Savior or not, I still wanted to remain vague and aloof.

Deuteronomy smiled a bit as I pondered. "Now, I'm going to leave you to think about that for a bit. Believe it or not, an old cat like me does still have a few responsibilities to attend to from time to time. This is one of those times. I trust you will remember to keep this information secret from anyone who doesn't need to know it, yes?" He looked at me with a raised eyebrow. I nodded fervently, and he smiled, stood, gave me another hug, and then slowly shuffled off again.

I, on the other hand, went searching for Victoria for what would now be the third time today. Again, I didn't mind the hunt so much, but it was a little tiring to have to keep jogging all around the junkyard to find her; it was not a small junkyard. Nonetheless, however, I had some idea of where she might be, this time, since it was getting a little late, and we always met in the amphitheater before going off to find dinner together. Ergo, the amphitheater was first on my list of places to be checked.

As I came up on the theater, though, I heard Munkustrap's voice ringing out over the area. He sounded like he was announcing something to the assembly. As his voice died away, there was a sudden uproar of other cats' voices; it sounded like the entire junkyard was gathered for something. Cursing the fact that I had missed whatever meeting was being held, I jogged the rest of the way and tried to slink in silently.

I was not successful in the least. As I tiptoed into the amphitheater, everyone suddenly fell silent, and I saw and felt every single gleaming yellow, black, green, blue, and grey eye staring at me. I had never blushed so quickly and furiously than at that very moment. Everyone had a surprised look on their face, as though I had burst in on a secret meeting that I wasn't welcome to attend. I was on the verge of explaining myself when suddenly, the entire company burst into applause. I blinked. "What the…" Had the entire tribe gone bats? Why were they applauding my interruption?

Suddenly, I heard Victoria's voice behind me. "Go on, Quaxo, they're waiting for you." She gently pushed me into the middle of the area as Munkustrap leaped down from his perch high above the area and put his paws on my shoulders.

"I just told them all about your recent escapades, Quaxo. I told them about how you saved Victoria from those Pollicles, and how doing so indirectly led to Grizabella finally going to the Heaviside Layer like she was supposed to. Needless to say, they're all quite impressed with you."

Impressed was not the word. No sooner had he finished talking than every cat in the area came down and started shaking my paw, hugging me tightly, and patting me on the back. Etcetera and Electra both came up shyly and just looked at me for a moment. I smiled at them and they burst into giggles as they both hugged me at once. Tugger, instead of his customary pat on the back and occasional one-armed hug, reached out and truly embraced me, like the bigger brother I'd always considered him as. Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer, though it wasn't safe for them to actually come forward and touch me, since they'd only recently been accused of pilfering a number of objects from the other cats and had yet to be captured for it, were both standing on one of the walls and waving furiously at me, grinning widely. I grinned and nodded to them, not wanting to let the other cats know where they were; they were in for it big when they were caught this time. Even Pouncival and Alonzo came grudgingly forward and smiled a bit as they punched me in the shoulder. The whole time, Victoria just clung to me, grinning widely with tears of happiness shining in her eyes just as I knew that they were probably shining in mine, and as I looked around at all the crowd around me, I realized that all my life, I'd been searching for one thing: a family who loved and cared for me, no matter what or who I was. Finally, I had it. Finally, I realized that I'd been a part of this family since I'd come to the junkyard so long ago, even though I was just now understanding what that meant. I smiled. Vague and aloof be damned; I was a Jellicle.

_Fini_


End file.
